News

Yet Another Shitty Video, Yet Another Shitty Cover

January 17, 2011

We spoke recently about metal being appropriated by the masses and the sorrow that ensues. To help prevent such misdeeds, the Internut needs an enema. Badly. One of the first fecal bombs to be detonated would be this instructional video of two lunkheads in Mexican wrestler masks teaching viewrs how to headbang to a crab-core…

Scion Rock Fest 2011 – Line-up Announced

January 14, 2011

Scion A/V just announced the line-up for the 2011 Scion Rock Fest. Uh, it’s ridiculous! Morbid Angel, Obituary, Death Angel, Municipal Waste, Agalloch, Integrity, Bastard Noise… Well, you can just read the handbill for the rest. This looks to be an awesome ear-destroying fest. And it’s fucking free (if you RSVP)! Also, Decibel are co-sponsors….

How to be the Next Cemetery Rapist

January 13, 2011

Ehow.com, the chubby small town second cousin of Wikipedia has an article on “How to Write Death Metal.” I’m sure there are many of you who hang around here waiting for another Cee Lo posting but would like to see how you can get involved in this exciting and ever-changing genre. Well let’s see what…

South Pole Dispatch + Special Victims Unit = Let’s Do This

January 13, 2011

The man responsible for bringing up the butt-end of every issue of Decibel, John Darnielle, is currently being courted (no pun intended) for a guest-spot on “Law & Order SVU.” Kinda. Technically, he’s being pimped out to the L&O powers that be by his fans—Darnielle’s that dude in that band the Mountain Goats, but that’s…

Seventh Rule Recordings Now Rules Harder

January 12, 2011

Well, metal dudes and dudettes, a new beginning is here. Envy-inspiring label Seventh Rule Recordings is taking it up a whole nother level by, well, check it: “Seventh Rule has started a BANDCAMP page and will eventually offer all our releases through it for digital streaming and downloads.While we are not going to sit here…

God is Coming for Your Record Collection

January 11, 2011

Any Decibel readers out there been feeling a strange, niggling affinity for the Son of Man this week? Do you suddenly empathize with that robed, bearded dirty hippie antagonist of early Slayer records? Is holy water no longer singeing your skin? Are you finally able to consume garlic? Fear not, friends, these are not signs…

Chris Bruni (Profound Lore Records) on Discovering New Music

January 7, 2011

Chris Bruni talks about discovering new music growing up from Scion A/V on Vimeo. To celebrate living to see another weekend, here’s a second preview video from Scion A/V’s Music(less) Conference from this past summer. Scion produced videos from all the panels they did at the conference and are launching them on a dedicated site…

Cowards of the County

January 5, 2011

Sorry kids, Dani Filth will not be appearing on a postage stamp or sculpted from a five foot chunk of marble in the center of Suffolk.

Colin Marston (Behold… the Arctopus, Dysrhythmia, Krallice, Gorguts) Shows You His Crib

January 5, 2011

Studio Tour: Colin Marston – Scion Music(less) Music Conference from Scion A/V on Vimeo. The folks at Scion A/V have once again generously blessed the Deciblog with an exclusive video for your viewing pleasure. In this clip, part of their Music(less) Conference series, guitar/bass/recording maestro Colin Marston of Behold…The Arctopus, Dysrhythmia, Krallice, and Gorguts takes…

Shrieks and Geeks

January 3, 2011

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWnJfLFmqmg It’s time to ring in the new year with another hall of fame video, this one directed by Rob Zombie. Okay, wait, I seem to have gotten my wires crossed here. This is Jon Zombie, a man who… come on, seriously? Jon Zombie? Is that really the best you could do? But anyways, let’s…

Fuck Tha (Armenian) Police

December 28, 2010

A sequel to Lords of Chaos this surely ain’t: According to a recent AFP article (which reads more like one of John Darnielle’s “South Pole Dispatch” satires than a legit news story), Armenian police have began cracking down on “emo” rock fans: Officers have visited schools, searched pupils whose distinctive clothing marks them out as…

Seriously? Severed Crotch Signs With Amputated Vein Records

December 27, 2010

Not a joke. The Icelandic death metal band inked a deal with a Japanese label that has a similar appreciation for lopping off body parts. In other news, Watain signed with Deplorable Man-Stank Records; Metallica signed with Save Our Dignity Records; GWAR signed with Please Don’t Point That Thing At Me Records; and Dimmu Borgir…

Greeting Cards From the Edge

December 23, 2010

Even the grimmest of us enjoy an occasional birthday wish. That’s where Dark & Somber Greetings come in. As you can see above, various Trve cards have been created to cheer up your corpse-painted brethren or tell them to go back to hell where they once rose from into the darkest forests of Norway. Or…

Dimmu Borgir’s “Dimmu Borgir” Gets It Wrong

December 23, 2010

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0mTkZyNwuY Typically Dimmu Borgir get it right (OK, not right if you’re an BM elitist who mailorders and uses Money Orders instead of credit or Paypal to pay for the latest ‘diehard’ re-re-press of Asgardsrei) when they pick a video ‘single’. “Progenies Of The Great Apocalypse“? Yes. “The Serpentine Offering“? Yes. “The Chosen Legacy? Yes….

Stereogum is Also Agalloch’s Girlfriend…

December 22, 2010

One of our favorite music sites (and not just because they point us straight to naked people music videos) is Stereogum and our most favorite nook is Brandon Stosuy’s column Haunting The Chapel. And now Mr. Stosuy has unveiled his top 50 records of 2010, crowning the best album as, drum ro… Oh, he picked…

The Crossroads of Voivod and Mandy Moore

December 17, 2010

I went into this piece only knowing three things about Ryan Adams: 1. He’s a 36-year old baby asshole. 2. He did the worst cover of Alice in Chains’ “Down in a Hole” that’s ever been recorded. 3. He’s married to Mandy Moore for some reason. Now while I like some Whiskeytown songs (oh yeah,…

Slaying the Prophets

December 16, 2010

In a strange bit of serendipity, I happened to finally get around to watching Behemoth’s excellent Evangelia Heretika DVD on the same day the New York Times ran a story headlined, “Poland, Bastion of Religion, Sees Rise in Secularism.” Thus, after being flabbergasted by a tour documentary wherein Catholic politicians collude with the police in…

Bitter End Tour Diary I

December 16, 2010

San Antonio’s burliest NYHC-influenced face-stompers Bitter End will be on tour pretty much the entire winter. The boys will intermittently grace the Deciblog with sordid stories about the hawd koa kids today, workin’ out and opening/playing for living legends. December 9, 2010 Miami, FL Transcribed by Jacob Henderson About three winters ago, Bitter End slid…

Alice Cooper Finally Inducted to the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame

December 15, 2010

We can already hear you bitching about how blasphemous the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame is and how it doesn’t mean anything, etc. Stop the billion dollar baby butt-hurt rant for two seconds, and throw some horns for Alice Cooper finally getting honored by the goddamn museum. Recognition is important, even if it comes…

Fun With the Spin 2010 Readers Poll

December 14, 2010

Don’t you wish we did one of these? Cheat Sheet ARTIST OF THE YEAR: (write-in) Bruce Willis BEST NEW ARTIST: (write-in) GWAR BEST LIVE ARTIST: (write-in) Bruce Willis MOST WELCOME RETURN: (write-in) Bruce Willis BEST RAP/R&B ARTIST: (write-in) “Rap isn’t music” SEX GODDESS OF THE YEAR: (write-in) Hit Girl from Kick-Ass SEX GOD OF THE…

King Diamond Gets a Present for Christmas…

December 14, 2010

…and it’s a shiny, newly refurbished heart. Diamond’s wife Livia breaks news of the several heart attacks which culminated in the diabolical falsetto’s recent triple bypass open heart surgery in a fairly harrowing post on Coven Worldwide. Here’s an excerpt: “If you are interested in the details of how this surgery is performed, please look…

Henry & Glenn Forever Cartoon Xmas Special (& J. Bennett in a Bathrobe)

December 13, 2010

We have the biggest, frostiest, gluiest boner for the remarkably deranged dudes of Igloo Tornado, the hivemind that brought you the homotastic hardcore comic Henry & Glenn Forever. Just when we thought we couldn’t possibly love them any harder or faster, Igloo Tornado’s Tom Neely wrote, directed, and animated a goddamn CHRISTMAS CARTOON starring Henry…

Slay Bells

December 8, 2010

If you couldn’t tell by the zombie Santa chilling up top, Mr. Richard Christy himself is hosting a horror fest this Saturday on ReelzChannel, the only TV station that I’m not sure I can correctly pronounce. The heavy metal/horror guru, whose monthly Horrorscope article really ties every Decibel issue together, will be showing films, taking…

Please Explain the Heavy Metal Holiday Commercial

December 8, 2010

The world of marketing and consumerism and why people buy what they buy is a mystery to this simpleton. I understand people want to look cool and feel good about themselves, and marketing exists in part to make those two things happen. I also understand we rely on fancy, flashy corporations to prescribe and sell…

Vanity Nemesis: Stuff on License Plates

December 3, 2010

There comes a time–mostly mid-to-late teens–when you want your preferences known. Any and all preferences. Musical, religious, movie, food, drink, fuck partner, etc. You broadcast your preferences anywhere there’s retail space. Could be on a folder you bring to class (admittedly, I’ve never seen, “I fuck Amanda” instead of “I love Amanda” scrawled on a…

Pre-teens of the Beast

December 2, 2010

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cd6clppG5bQ An inspirational tale of young extremity, Heavy Metal Jr. documents a band called Hatred (or Hatrid), kids aged 10-13 who are trying to get ready for their first show. Their influences range from Motorhead to AC/DC to Marilyn Manson and they are… well, just start watching. It is a full 24 minutes of kick…

Christmas Jeer

December 2, 2010

As Jeanne helpfully reminded me a couple days back, it’s damn near time I dress my dogs up in a stupid/humiliating costume, do a little hostage photo shoot, and print up the latest batch of Christmas cards sure to enkindle in my pugs’ hearts a desire to discover the secret of how one becomes a…

Holiday Shopping List for My Deciblog Coworkers

December 1, 2010

My fellow dbloggers have covered my ass this past year on more than a few (or, like, a few hundred) occasions. In order to thank them, I scoured eBay for some rare vinyl goodies. Because I’m not a cheap turd, I went for the super-expensive super-rare heavy metal stuff because the pricier the album, the…

Happy Thanksgiving, Thankless Bastards!

November 25, 2010

In honor of the holiday most associated with one of the seven deadly sins — gluttony — we’re pleased to give you Death Metal Rooster Explained. True, roosters aren’t turkeys, but to date no one has uploaded a video of a turkey roaring for 30 seconds. Or… Since we think we’re funny, here’s Heretic Soul…

Heavy Metal is (Still) Back in Baghdad

November 24, 2010

After Acrassicauda left Iraq in 2003, there were no reported heavy metal shows for five years before Brutal Impact and Dog Faced Corpse played on the banks of the Tigris at a private dinner party. But that wasn’t exactly the start of metal Mondays in the still scary as all hell country as few have…