Jeanne Fury

Every other media outlet is posting year-end lists, and so are we. Why? Because 99 percent of those chucklefucks have god-awful and/or banal taste in everything, and approximately zero dB staffers power-jizzed our collective denim diaper over the Kanye West album.

We can already hear you bitching about how blasphemous the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame is and how it doesn’t mean anything, etc. Stop the billion dollar baby butt-hurt rant for two seconds, and throw some horns for Alice Cooper finally getting honored by the goddamn museum. Recognition is important, even if it comes…

We have the biggest, frostiest, gluiest boner for the remarkably deranged dudes of Igloo Tornado, the hivemind that brought you the homotastic hardcore comic Henry & Glenn Forever. Just when we thought we couldn’t possibly love them any harder or faster, Igloo Tornado’s Tom Neely wrote, directed, and animated a goddamn CHRISTMAS CARTOON starring Henry…

The world of marketing and consumerism and why people buy what they buy is a mystery to this simpleton. I understand people want to look cool and feel good about themselves, and marketing exists in part to make those two things happen. I also understand we rely on fancy, flashy corporations to prescribe and sell…

My fellow dbloggers have covered my ass this past year on more than a few (or, like, a few hundred) occasions. In order to thank them, I scoured eBay for some rare vinyl goodies. Because I’m not a cheap turd, I went for the super-expensive super-rare heavy metal stuff because the pricier the album, the…

To make room for all the food you’re going to cram down your pie-hole in the coming days, consider this post to be your pre-Thanksgiving colon-blow. There’s a Swiss reality show “Kampf der Chöre” (“Clash Of The Choirs”), similar to NBC’s “The Sing-Off,” where famous Swiss musicians coach a choir and compete for international fame…

“Phil Anselmo looks like a giant angry baby!” So came the cry from a friend who had just opened her mailbox to retrieve her issue of Decibel. Because I’m the last person to receive a copy (the post office can suck it), I didn’t know what the heck she was talking about. Then my copy…

The first time I saw comedian Sam Kinison in action was on “Married With Children”’s Christmas special in 1989. He played Al Bundy’s guardian angel, a sort of Clarence to Al’s George Bailey. Even as an angel, Kinison was so shrill and gritty, and his laugh was disgusting. I wanted my guardian angel to sound…

Adult Swim’s Robot Unicorn Attack Heavy Metal is all your childhood (or adulthood, as the case may be) fantasies wrapped into a game for your iPhone. Note: I don’t have an iPhone, but I will play Robot Unicorn Attack Heavy Metal on your iPhone if you have one. The game is simple: You’re a robot…

Nine years ago this month, author Steven Blush released the hardcore book-of-books, American Hardcore: A Tribal History. Because he’s a glutton for punishment, he updated the book to include a load of new material: The author has updated all of the chapters, added a new one titled “Destroy Babylon,” which explores the mutant forms of…

It’s no secret that Decibel writers spend lots of time looking at pictures of cats on the internets. The December 2009 issue featured the Cutest Kittehs in Metal story. We’re disciples of I Can Has Cheezburger and Cute Overload. When I stumbled upon this picture of a 4-month-old European Burmese kitten at some ridiculous cat…

Danzig: 3 How the Gods KillI think this came out right before I entered high school, but it was a main stay in my CD player throughout the 4 years. I was completely obsessed with Danzig, Samhain and Misfits. I loved it all and listened to this stuff constantly. I think this is probably my…

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UES1eNy9qo Right about now, all your favorite (and most-hated!) Decibel writers are hustling to get their year-end lists together for the Big Man In Charge. But I’d like to take an opportunity to share with you my favorite video of the year. It eclipses “genre,” so don’t go bitching about how it’s not metal. Blow me—this…

Grab a bucket of fried chicken and potato salad. And don’t forget a blanket and some boxed wine. It’s Heavy Metal Picnic time. Jeff Krulik and John Heyn, the fellas behind Heavy Metal Parking Lot, worked their magic with footage taken by Rudy Childs at a 1985 hesher-fest billed as Full Moon Jamboree in Bumfuck,…