Random Number of Random Things We Gave a Random Shit About in 2010

Every other media outlet is posting year-end lists, and so are we. Why? Because 99 percent of those chucklefucks have god-awful and/or banal taste in everything, and approximately zero dB staffers power-jizzed our collective denim diaper over the Kanye West album. (Do yourself a favor and listen to The Roots’ latest album. It puts His Beautiful Dark Titty Twister in a clamp.) There was plenty of other stuff that made our buttholes twinkle in 2010 beyond what you read about in Decibel’s year-end issue. Let us show you.

J. Bennett Gave a Random Shit About:
1. Meeting my spirit animal
2. Not having back surgery (again)
3. Ides Of Gemini
4. Painkillers (see # 2)
5. Alan Watts
6. Maja D’Aoust as The Oracle (below)

*Photo by Sera Timms
7. Menace Ruine
8. Dead Whale
9. Everything That Rises Must Converge by Flannery O’Connor (1965)
10. The Glass Bead Game by Herman Hesse (1943)
11. Only Death Is Real by Tom Gabriel Fischer
12. Jeffery Combs in Nevermore: An Evening With Edgar Allan Poe (below)

13. Heavy Tuesday
14. The Knife’s “Heartbeats” on psychotic repeat
15. Henry & Glenn Forever
16. Animal Kingdom (Aussie gangster flick)
17. Black Swan
18. The Killer Inside Me
19. Beach House – Teen Dream
20. Washed Out – Life Of Leisure
21. http://www.putthatshitonthelist.com/

Nick Green Gave a Random Shit About:
The “Paintball” episode of “Community”:
I didn’t understand the appeal of this show initially, and regrettably wrote it off as one of NBC’s formulaic attempts to transpose “The Office” to a different setting, but the “Paintball” episode of “Community” — where Senor Chang engages Jeff and Britta in an epic stand-off that parodies John Woo’s The Killer — has to be the most perfect 22 minutes of episodic televion I’ve ever seen. If you haven’t seen it yet, pick up the Community Season One DVD (which also includes a hilarious “Kickpuncher” comic insert) and binge over a long weekend. The show’s current season has definitely been more consistently on point (the “pillow fort” episode is an early high point), Troy and Abed are TV’s most adorable gay couple, Chevy Chase is not nearly as annoying as you’d expect, and if the writers would only find something for Shirley to do, it’d be perfect.

The concept is simple: take the basic formula of Stuff On My Cat and push it to a hilarious zenith by… putting more shit on your cat and taking photos of it. Earlier this month, the site sponsored a contest to find the most “metal” assemblage of objects stacked on a single cat, with a prize pack including the latest Intronaut CD and a bag of Friskies Party Mix. The results — which even included a photo of a cat with the High on Fire issue of Decibel stacked on it — are LOL worthy, but the winning entry is 5 kinds of genius. Until Decibel gets its shit together for another edition of “Cutest Kitties in Metal,” this is the new de facto standard for torturing your poor kitty.

Scott Tennent’s 33 1/3 book on Slint’s Spiderland:
Fun fact: Slint had its roots in a little-known Louisville metal band named Maurice that toured with Samhain when these guys were all teenagers. Scott Tennant’s amazing chronicle of the making of Spiderland includes extensive interviews with Slint members David Pajo (a Decibel subscriber!) and Todd Brashear, as well as an amazing family tree graphic for the band members’ numerous splinter projects and a tight, inviting writing style that inspires you to learn more about about an album that — up until this point — remained steeped in secrets. There’s a reason that Nick Terry counts Spiderland amongst his favorite albums of all time: It transcends genres and speaks to metal and non-metal fans alike. And, if this definitive statement leaves you with any unanswered questions, just send Tennent an email and fire away.

Jeanne Fury Gave a Random Shit About:
The death of artist Louise Bourgeois. Even (especially?) at age 98, she positively destroyed convention. She ripped life to shreds.

Rat Girl by Kristin Hersh. The Throwing Muses/50 Foot Wave frontwoman’s real-life tale of a year in the life of her young, bipolar self. She gets hit by a car (driven by a gypsy), hears songs in her head, struggles to understand what’s happening to her body while keeping the band afloat, and accidentally gets pregnant. Yes, Patti Smith and Keith Richards also wrote awesome memoirs this year, but Rat Girl is a different animal altogether.

Southampton Pumpkin Ale. Idiots insist on drinking seasonal pumpkin forgeries: Smuttynose, Harvest Moon, or goddamn Post Road. But I’m a pumpkin ho, and this is the really good shit. Death to false pumpkin.

Cain Velasquez defeated Brock Lesnar to become the UFC Heavyweight Champ.

Kristen Stewart as Joan Jett jumping on a bed in her underwear in The Runaways. See also: Kristen Stewart as Joan Jett pissing on a dude’s guitar in The Runaways.

Andrew Bonazelli Gave a Random Shit About:
I didn’t give a shit about anything in 2010 until I saw this and jumped out the window in 3, 2, nice knowing y’all!