Welcome to The Lazarus Pit, a biweekly look at should-be classic metal records that don’t get nearly enough love, stuff that’s essential listening for students of extreme metal that you’ve probably never heard of.  Stuff that we’re too lazy to track down the band members to do a Hall Of Fame for.  This week’s entry…

We’re just a few weeks away from the return of the NFL, thank god. So, as usual, we contacted some of our favorite extreme musicians to pump up the underachieving fuck-ups they call their favorite teams. This Friday, Gates of Slumber bassist Jason McCash refuses to sleep on the finally in-decline (fingers crossed) Colts. So,…

You might have heard this but F.Y.I. Biohazard are hosting an open audition in the search for a replacement for vocalist/bassist Evan Seinfeld. This is great news. Seriously, folks, if you’ve ever apportioned serious mirror time to bicep curls while reeling off how many blocks there are to get to the subway, you should be…

In the next issue of Decibel – at least, I think it’s the next issue. I’ve been one of Mudrian’s ink-spilling bitches since day one and I still haven’t figured out when an issue comes out in relation to when I submit copy – I reviewed the soundtrack to the horror/gore flick, Afterparty Massacre. To…

We’re just a few weeks away from the return of the NFL, thank god. So, as usual, we contacted some of our favorite extreme musicians to pump up the underachieving fuck-ups they call their favorite teams. This Thursday, Muni Waste mouthpiece Tony Foresta is feeling good about the out-of-nowhere/on-the-rise Bucs. I didn’t even bother writing…

What else can I say about The Black Dahlia Murder? I like them more than Carcass. There. I said it. Oh, and one more thing: this week we’re giving away an awesome fucking TBDM prize. Enter this contest and you can win the Ritual deluxe box or the limited pressing gatefold vinyl, or maybe both,…

We’re just a few weeks away from the return of the NFL, thank god. So, as usual, we contacted some of our favorite extreme musicians to pump up the underachieving fuck-ups they call their favorite teams. This Thursday, Helmet heavy-hitter Page Hamilton hopes that new 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh doesn’t “drop D” (sue me, it’s…

Even though Iceland is bankrupt, cold and Bjork is printed on their money, 200 of its peoples are getting real tired of being in America, especially during the three dozen simultaneous natural disasters on the east coast. So what do you do when you need to get back to your homeland but regular planes are…

We’re just a few weeks away from the return of the NFL, thank god. So, as usual, we contacted some of our favorite extreme musicians to pump up the underachieving fuck-ups they call their favorite teams. This Wednesday, two of the Bay Area’s finest, Scott Kelly of Neurosis and Chris Brock of Early Graves, try…

There’s little more annoying on this planet than the immoral majority telling you how essential, transcendent and (huh-huh) seminal a particular extreme album is, when you know that it’s overrated as fuck. Hence, our new Wednesday morning column, “Disposable Heroes,” in which one brave soul sails against the current to inform all you clones why…