The Decibel DIY Guide to Metal & Beer Fest: Home Edition

Stuck inside wondering what you’re going to do with next weekend like the rest of us? Bumming out that you won’t be able to convene with your fellow metal and beer aficionados for the Fest in Philly (or anywhere for that matter)? It sucks, we know, but that doesn’t mean you can’t draw a pentagram on the floor and summon the beer and metal directly to YOU! If you’re still seeking a way to support the bevy of bands you wanted to see and the rounds of brews you longed to destroy then make like Steve DiGiorgio and don’t fret: we’ve got you covered with this Do-It-Yourself guide to throwing your own Decibel Magazine Metal & Beer fest right at home!

Broken down over the following sections you’ll find everything you need to locate special offerings from our sponsored breweries, including booze shipped right to your door, as well as our picks for how you can bide your drinking hours in the days leading up to (and including) what should have been the greatest Fest of all goddamned time. We’ve compiled everything from mail-order mead and collaborative band brews to a virtual merch booth and classic Metal & Beer radio broadcasts, including some brand-new benefit shows for your content-starved eardrums.

Click through, wash your hands, put your cat or dog in their miniature battle fest and saddle up for the rowdiest home-based weekend of your already miserable socially-distanced life. When we Do-It-Ourselves there’s no one to cut us off!

BEER

As the US follows the rest of the world in shutting down all non-essential businesses, the breweries who were supposed to be featured at the Metal & Beer fest have largely had to move to a “take-out/pick up only” model to survive. Most are heavily relying on their local customer base to keep them afloat until the bars and taprooms can reopen for business. We ask that our readers, whether you had a ticket to the Fest or not, take a look through the following list and make an attempt to support your local craft brewers wherever possible in this time of need. We realize that this isn’t realistic for everyone, and luckily a select few of these breweries also possess the ability to ship to the majority of the United States- so take advantage of that if you can!

In the following three sections (Now Shipping, Philly/PA, and the rest of the US) you’ll find resources on how you can support our national brewery partners and their staff when they need it the most. Now more than ever is the best time to think locally with the beers you drink, purchase merchandise and gift cards wherever possible, and tip and support your bartenders and servers (many of whom are also musicians). Get to know our featured breweries way out in front of the Fest, and by the time the postponed dates come around you can already be fast friends with in-depth knowledge and some notches on your (newly expanded) belt, they’ll appreciate the support!!

Now Shipping:

In addition to offering local pickup, the following four Breweries will happily ship booze to you (some restrictions apply).

BRIMMING HORN MEADERY (Milton, DE)

As our only Metal & Beer Meadery, Brimming Horn also possesses the unique ability to mail their Meads, Wines and Melomets (look it up) to 42 states. They also do local pick-up in Delaware. That’s impressive, and it means that 84% of the US can get their wares, made with locally sourced fruits and honey, delivered right to your doorstep to keep you plied like a Viking while we ride this one out. Ranging from 12% alcohol and UP, selections like “Freya’s Kiss,” “Thunder Oak” and “Seeds of the Underworld” are not to be trifled with. Now is truly the perfect time to try something unique and take it to a whole new level of impairment, grab a big ass bottle here.

Since you’re not going anywhere, take the time to check out their Norse-inspired and heavy-as-hell merchandise or their quintessential mead and metal collaboration series with (some of the biggest and brightest metal bands in the US) here.

If you’d like to better your chances at Valhalla during the impending Ragnarok, be a hero and tip your bartenders.

ADROIT THEORY (Purcellville, VA)

Many of you saw our recent posts about the Adroit Theory x Necrot team up brew going live and flooded them with orders. Smart move, because it’s currently sold out. In addition to that brutal Kolsch collab, they are continually updating their site with the exact availability for their entire line of beers (as well as adding new stuff that will be released in the next weeks that you can pre-order now). They can ship almost anywhere, and supplies are extremely limited, so check that link ASAP to see what’s on tap for your neck of the woods. If you’re local to Virginia you can of course stop in for pick up as well.

Special advisement to keep an eye out for their “If You’re Still Breathing – Hazy DIPA” and “Moment of Impact – Russian Imperial Stout [Coffee + Cacao + Coconut + Vanilla + Mint]” and stay tuned for more info on kegs + new merchandise.

OLIVER BREWING CO. (Baltimore, MD)

As seen on our socials, recent Haunt-collaborators Oliver Brewing Co are canning like crazy and now accepting pick-up orders and doing local delivery in the Baltimore area  . . .but more importantly for many of you, they are also shipping their deliciousness to New York, Connecticut, Pennsylvania, Washington DC, Florida, and Alaska. That’s a hot 6-pack of dumb luck right there, so take advantage of this opportunity to grab fan favorites like the aforementioned ‘Mind Freeze’ Haunt collaboration, plus “B’More Hazy,” “Balls To The Wall,” “Creator/Destroyer” and “Social [distancing] Lager.”

The OBC was also recently accepting donations for the Family League of Baltimore, and it’s rad they were able to rally together to help the kids affected by school closings during this troubling time. If you’d like to follow their lead and give back by buying a buddy (in one of the states they ship to) a round or 6, consider clicking here to purchase and/or give a virtual gift card. What’s better than the gift of beer?

BURIAL BEER CO (Asheville/Raleigh, NC)

The river to hell runs red, but the shipping from Burial runs almost everywhere (except Alabama, Arkansas, Kansas, Kentucky, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Mississippi, New Hampshire, New York, Pennsylvania, Texas, Utah, and Washington). If you’re in one of the lucky 37 states who dodged the scythe on that list, count your blessings and be advised to visit their online shop before the bones are picked clean. Mail ordering these brutal bottles to your home will be the best decision you’ve made all plague.

Lucky folks in North Carolina can still get pickup and receive home delivery within 8 miles of their locations in Asheville and Raleigh with orders over $30. Grab a sixer or this sick David Paul Seymour shirt and support some hardworking south slopers!

Burial has been keeping busy knocking out numerous maintenance projects at their Forestry Camp restaurant and production brewing facility, preserving their workforce and preparing to bounce back better than ever. With their recent launch of online ordering, their front of house staff has switched over to shipping fulfillment and delivering local orders, so your mail-ordered or home-delivered beer expenditure is literally creating jobs… cheers to that!

Philly / PA:

If you find yourself quarantined in the commonwealth we’ve got a half dozen options to help you feel like you’re inside the Fillmore tossing ‘em back, and one of them even ships statewide. If you’re not in PA, consider snagging yourself some merchandise or grabbing a gift card for that impending Philly visit. The Fest will return, and so shall you!

BROKEN GOBLET (Bensalem, PA)

More than just a brewery, Broken Goblet regularly hosts packed-out live music events just up the road from Philly, so it was a real bummer when their taproom had to close right on the heels of their amazingly conceived and executed [email protected]#king Pilsner release, replete with Pantera cover band (Penntera!) and more. [email protected]#king Pilsner is a 4.9% no-frills, no adjuncts, no lactose, no activated charcoal, no purée, no pickle juice, no bullshit German style fucking Pilsner and if that description doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about BG, you’re S.O.L.

As the title sponsor for Decibel Metal & Beer Fest Philly: 2020, Mike and the Broken Goblet crew were bringing that same level of enthusiasm to make this the best Fest yet, and having to postpone has gutted us all. If you’re local to Philly and looking to throw support at a very solid operation, I implore you to check out the Broken Goblet online beer store. Visit the link, choose your beers (and pay for them), and they will have them packaged and sealed up for you the next day for pickup. Pick up hours happen Tuesday through Sunday in the brewery or “BMX” bar. If you’d prefer delivery to your car outside they will even bring it out to you. Tip extra for that.

They’ve just added a ton of new merch (which they happily ship!) and beers to their store, including the ‘Fruity Pebbles Hazenberg’ where “a whole cereal bowl full of fruit flavors interplay with the already robust citrus and tropical fruit flavors from the hops.” Described as ‘comfort beer,’ it’s a must-have for your in-home Metal & Beer Fest experience. Treat yourself to a few and also their “Fools Gold” 9% Belgian Golden Strong, a beer created for a past anniversary party that they liked so much they just kept brewing it. As Broken Goblet says, “These are weird times, friends, and sometimes weirdness needs a strong beer as company.”

LIONSHEAD (Wilkes Barre, PA)

Just a little further up the road from Philly, our friends at Lionshead have been working overtime to keep spirits high by hosting random contests, hooking up loyal fans with Lionshead merch and generally brightening spirits as they are apt to do. They’ve also been participating in the Nationwide Cheers initiative, which encourages folks around the world to share a [craft] beer in a communal but socially distanced event. Check here for the next toast on 4/3 and pound a pint at 5pm wherever you are in solidarity.

To hunt yourself up some Lionshead to enjoy while you listen to the tortured animal screaming of your favorite Fest band, type in your location over at beerfinder and brave the godforsaken wilderness to bring back your kill. You’re going to have to leave the house eventually, stock up for your pride.

ZERODAY BREWING CO. (Harrisburg, PA)

Serving the Pennsylvania state capital for almost 5 years running (Happy Pre-Anniversary guys!), the Zeroday team is filling Crowlers and Growlers curbside at their location 7 days a week from 12-6. That’s an incredible commitment to getting you booze when you need it the most, and if you’re anywhere near Harrisburg then head over to www.ZerodayToGo.com to snag over a dozen ZD treats like their ‘Mango Hab Pale Ale’, a beautiful and refreshing fusion of sweet mango and clean habanero heat, or ‘Must Love Coconut,’ a 6% ABV porter brewed with chocolate barley and golden oats and loaded with a copious amount of toasted coconut.

They also offer discounted gift cards, non-alcoholic ginger beer and the sense of satisfaction that comes with restocking via super solid folks who will happily bring booze right out to your car. Zeroday: a day taken during a journey in which no miles are logged, usually because the traveler has stopped in a town to resupply, rest, and reinvigorate.

YARDS (Philadelphia, PA)

As an essential food service, Yards continues to brew and package in the safest manner possible in accordance with CDC guidelines right here in Philadelphia. The freshest beer is always on its way to their wholesale and retail partners (which you can locate here), and they are also still selling beer to-go from their taproom. As Yard’s will happily assure you, “We got this.”

If you can’t make it out to support in person, gift cards are another great way to support local bars, restaurants, and breweries affected by the COVID-19 shutdown, and right now you’ll receive 20% off any gift card purchase of $60 or more on the Yards website. Invest in the drinking budget of future you, and remember the Yards crew motto: “Brew Unto Others”

ATTIC (Philadelphia, PA)

Pick up and and delivery options are now available from Fest-newcomer and fellow Philly native Attic Brewing! They are currently offering six selections in 16 oz cans (shout out to the ever thoughtful Triple Bottom Brewing for the supplies). Grab a “Cat Boss Approved” IPA, “La Libertad” Mexican Lager or any of their other 4 choices and stay-your-ass-at-home while someone else hoofs the booze to your bunker.

You can order online here, and they are now delivering to their immediate vicinity: Germantown, Mt. Airy, Chestnut Hill, Nicetown, West Oak Lane, East Falls, Manayunk and Roxborough.

For pickup, you can visit their taproom garage Thursday thru Saturday. We believe in supporting small business whenever possible, and if you’re in any of the above neighborhoods, now is a great time to show some Philly LOVE for Attic Brewing.

TIRED HANDS (Ardmore/Philadelphia, PA)

Rounding out your options for the great state of Pennsylvania, and shipping STATEWIDE, are the fine folks at Tired Hands. They recently opened up a restaurant and beer distro in Philly called St. Oners and they’re currently offering pickup both there and at their Fermentaria in Ardmore.

Be forewarned: their line continue to prove immensely popular in both the local and statewide vicinity, so if you’re sitting on a PA address we suggest you hop over to Dudley direct and grab some bottles and cans (if you can) and get them into the postal service, post haste. I have personally recently finished off my last four-pack of “Helles Other People” and realized just how bad at rationing I am (and how little willpower I possess.) Luckily, I can snag more right up the street, muahaha!

The rest of the United States:

Rounding out the rest of the fest are breweries from Illinois (2), Indiana, Michigan, Minnesota, Nebraska, New York and Ohio (2). If you happen to find yourself isolated in one of those seven states, consider including them in your next post-apocalyptic mad max style supply run (are we there yet?)

WAKE BREWING (Rock Island, Illinois)

Like a zombie rocking PPE, Wake has resurrected the ‘Safest Beer Run in the Quad-Cities,’ offering four packs and KEGS available for pickup on Saturdays. Visit their website for the full details on ordering, but rest assured you shall benefit from their paranoid over-sanitation and be able to obtain the maximum amount of booze with the minimum amount of contact!

It should be noted that they have cans of Gatecreeper-collab “Boiled Over Lager” available plus over a half dozen more. Big boy 1/6bbl kegs of “Crossbreaker,” “Boiled Over Lager,” and “Hand of Doom” are also on the table while supplies last if you really want to go hard. Get more bang for your buck and be the envy of the GC community with your own damned quarantine keg, but maybe if you buy one don’t share your location online until it’s kicked. It’s probably too risky.

If you’ve already got a Wake stash at home, they encourage you to tag your Wake-assisted quarantine jams with #wellnessbywakebrewing. Post pics and videos of yourself enjoying Wake brews while under self-quarantine doing whatever it is that’s keeping you sane. Use the hashtag and they’ll highlight some of their favs in the coming weeks. You’ve got time to get creative.

SOUNDGROWLER (Tinley Park, Illinois)

This is not a drill: Soundgrowler is now offering beer to-go through the Grubhub app. Beer, through an app. What a time to be alive (and reliant on beer delivery).  Their taproom will also be accepting orders seven days a week via squaresite, so you can practice social distancing with your favorite Soundgrowler beer in hand. In addition to schleppin’ tacos (them shrimp jawns are back), they even offer any three 32 oz Crowlers for $25. Now that’s a combo plate I’d be interested in!

The SG team is also giving back to their local community, and as a ‘Thank You’ to first responders they are offering a FREE daily taco meal to Healthcare workers, Fire + Police. That should make you even more inclined to pick up a ‘Riff Rider’ or ‘Grind Punch’ if you’re in the Illinois area. The Soundgrowler team remind you to “Stay safe, wash your hands, drink good beer.”

THREE FLOYDS BREWING (Munster, Indiana.)

Fest wasn’t the only M+B casualty capped by the caustic COVID, we also got word that the highly anticipated Dark Lord Day from 3 Floyds has been postponed like so many of our hopes and dreams. If you’re not in the know, the DL is a demonic Russian-Style Imperial Stout brewed with coffee, Mexican vanilla and Indian sugar, and defies description. Bottles are available one day a year — Dark Lord Day — at the brewery in Munster, Indiana. People STAN it, and for good goddamned reason. We’ll continue to stand by for the reschedule with intense FOMO.

You can source the remaining Three Floyds stock in shops near you online if you’re lucky, but sadly their brewpub, kiosk and tasting room have been closed until further notice. Take this time to familiarize yourself with the one true lord, and see what all the fuss is about. They’ve also got a merch section that is way more sick than it has any right to be during an actual epidemic, including comics, stickers, Skeletonwitch collab Temple of the Sun shirts and even… hold your drool… embroidered patches. Honestly, it’s better than some merch tables I’ve seen. You be the judge.

BLAKE’S HARD CIDER CO. (Armada, Michigan)

Blake’s is currently whipping their wines, hard ciders, and bottled beer through their Cider Mill Drive Through a full seven days a week, but I’ve buried the lead here: they also have doughnuts. Not just doughnuts, they have a drive through food menu that looks like an 8-year-old’s birthday party dream plate: Chicken Bites, Corn + Coney Dogs, Party Pretzels, Nachos, Candy Apples. All of my major food groups are covered here.

If you’re in Michigan, hop in the wagon and get moving to Armada. In addition to offering up all those tasty treats, Blake’s is also giving back to kids hit hardest by current school closures, and offering free meals for kids 18 and under. Horns up for that! They are also collecting medical supplies at their drive through, which can be exchanged for sweet cider and donuts. As the only official cider pourer of the Philly Fest for 2020, I am saddened that I won’t be sipping on a Blake’s this weekend, so if you have the opportunity to give back to this team who is doing so much, please crank the car stereo and hit that drive through hard for me.

Scope their merch and/or locate some cider of your own near you here.

HAMMERHEART (Lino Lakes, MN)

HammerHeart brews beer inspired by Norse and Celtic history, old world tradition and of course, all forms of heavy metal. During this time of mandatory shutdown, HammerHeart has just started offering “curbside pickup” of their NEW 64 oz Growlers Wednesdays through Saturdays from 3 – 6pm. Order online via Big Cartel.

The brewery’s name was chosen from the epic viking metal album “Hammerheart” by the classic Swedish metal band Bathory, and they’ve got ‘Thor’s Porter,’ ‘Leif’s Lager’ and ‘The Fire of Muspell’ ready for pickup now to get you through your Daemon drinkin’ days. You can also nail down some of their sick merch including patches, shirts and growlers here .

COSMIC EYE (Lincoln, NE)

One of the few band-collab brews we were able to properly debut for the Fest was the Cosmic Eye x Magic Circle “Hypnotized” dry hopped lager. If you’re near Lincoln, NE you are now one of the lucky few who has the opportunity to snap up this release (seven days a week!) in limited cans and on draft (to go). https://www.cosmiceye.beer

Visit their site for the full hours and lineup of cans and crowlers, and if you’re a lager-lover like myself then don’t sleep on Hypnotized: this dry-hopped brew is bright and refreshing and features Arianna and Calista hop. If that’s not your speed, they also carry “Your Friend Death,” as well as the sign of the times Covid-19 WASH YOUR HANDS shirt, which you know WE support.

NIGHTMARE (Farmingdale, NY)

Nightmare usually lets their award winning beers do the talking, so I will just let you know that I’m right there with you on how big of a loss it is we won’t be able to sample their specialties at Metal & Beer. It’s a literal… bad dream.

You can scour the internet for a potential source near you or throw some support behind their open minded distro @twelve.percent.beer.project (who spread the Nightmares globally).

HOOFHEARTED (Marengo / Columbus, OH)

Hoofhearted has been turning tanks like cassette tapes since 2011, and now they’ve flipped the script again by offering drive up carryout this weekend at their Marengo location so you can keep the classics rolling. They’ve also got a brand new online store which you can visit at www.hoofhearted.store to view their available cans, pricing, prepayment, and drive up instructions.

Their location is currently running Weds-Fri, but you’re better off checking their IG account daily for what beers are available and where they are going to be. Current lip-smackin’ lineup includes: ‘Key Bump,’ ‘Miracle Toast,’ and ‘Yann Bandaña (IPA)’.

GOLDHORN (Cleveland, OH)

Named for the famed mountain goat of Slovenian folklore in homage to their neighborhood roots, Goldhorn has been exploring and connecting the rich heritage and traditions of their Cleveland neighborhood to the craft beers that bring people together since July of 2016. If you’re blessed, you might be able to find one of their Polka City Pilsners or Dead Man’s Curve IPAs in a beverage retailer near you.

They’ve also been updating their social media with the times that they will be open for takeout. Those of you in rock city should keep an eye on their sites for your opportunities to fill up your growlers and grab some grub including (winner winner) chicken dinners. Six packs, gift cards and growlers available as well.

METAL

Okay, so you’ve been inundated with options on how to bring the beverage portion of the Fest into your isolated area, but now how the hell are you supposed to entertain yourself all goddamned weekend? You were staring down the barrel of at least 14 hours worth of malevolent musical programming, and now you’re left high and dry with multiple shipments of craft beer careening towards your front door. Worse things have happened, friend, and we’re here to help you the fill the void. Well, one of them anyway. In the proceeding section, you’ll find streaming and spending opportunities running the full glorious gamut of our previous two-day lineup; there is literally something for everyone. If you manage to consume even half of this content while pounding back pints, we can guarantee you’ll elevate your DIY Metal & Beer Fest home experience to god-tier. Besides, WTF else do you have to do?

Start out by getting your Pre-Fest on via Gimme Radio Thursday April 2 at 11pm ET for the airing of their Gimme Relief episode on Idle Hands. Tune in as Gabriel Franco returns to DJ an eclectic metal selection exclusively for Gimme, and pregame for your in-home DIY Metal & Beer weekend experience with choice cuts from an official fest band.

You might have caught our piece on Gimme Metal, the official Radio station of Metal & Beer Fest, and their new Gimme Relief Series highlighting bands who have been financially affected by this global pandemic. In addition to programming a number of these special benefit shows, Gimme Radio has all the M+B goods for your required weekend at-home listening, and for the best price of all: F-R-E-E. They will be re-airing their December 2018 interviews recorded at Metal & Beer Fest: Los Angeles back-to-back, so you can close your eyes and pretend you’re still on scene while you’re safely sippin’ suds at home (and don’t have to fret about finding a rideshare). The best part about these communal broadcast events are the live chat functions, where we can all shit-post together in real time, so we are encouraging everyone who is feelin’ a bit lonely lately to jump in on these threads and connect with one another as if we were all still inside the venues under much happier (and drunken) circumstances. We’ll see you in the pit… err… chat!

Those episodes will run Friday April 3 with part 1 airing at 4pm PT/7PM ET and part 2 airing at 6pm PT/9PM ET via the free streaming service. These programs reprise a ton of exclusive on-site interviews from Metal & Beer Fest 2018: LA, including three artists who were to be featured at this year’s fest in Philly. Full lineup below.

  • Part 1 includes: Pig Destroyer, Khemmis, Dave Mustaine, Pounder, Black Dahlia Murder, YOB.
  • Part 2 is with: Necrot, Haunt, Wolf King, Trappist, Power Trip, Skeletal Remains and Tom G Warrior.

Prior to the airing of these episodes you can also catch a special edition of Gimme Relief featuring Montreal Death Metal elite Akurion. Vocalist Mike DiSalvo (Cryptopsy), who is also interviewed in the May issue of Decibel, will be guest DJing. That episode airs at 12PM PT / 3pm ET on Friday April 3 and should set the tone for the first day of your official fest listening activities perfectly!

Now if you’re in need of a visual component to help get you in the proper M+B mood, might we advise hanging out with Haunt as they sporadically livestream, or catching up with Night Demon as they post up choice throwbacks like this live rendition of ‘Radar Love’

Night Demon – Radar Love

Repost from @live_rock_music•🦠♠️🦠.NIGHT DEMON🔥🔥🔥.(remembering old times)..#nightdemon #specialset #heavymetal #americanmetal #greatband #awesomenights #barcelona #rocksoundbcn #musicislife #covid19 #wewantshows #hardrock #goodmusic #instamusic #musicvideo #energy #amazing #iphonecamera #rocknroll #gibson #rock #guitar #drums #happy #riffs #liveshow #worldmusic #worldrockers #rockpower #remembering

Posted by Night Demon on Monday, March 23, 2020

If you require your video production standards a tad more polished and of the full length variety, consider spoiling yourself by ripping through Jane Doe live in it’s entirety from 2016 at Roadburn festival. It’s 50 minutes and 11 seconds of your life that you won’t want back, and nobody was offering.

Converge is also participating in the ISOLATE/CREATE project, and to keep people entertained in these challenging times they have also recently unleashed “Endless Arrow,” a 30 minute ambient/experimental version of the song “Aimless Arrow” created by Kurt Ballou. The track is offered as a “Pay What You Want” download via their Bandcamp currently, so go grab it now to help you come down later when you inevitably drink yourself into the spins.

So now it’s Saturday and you’re ready to carry this quarantine party straight into day 2? The hits just keep on coming, buddy…

Check in bright and early with Gimme Radio for another Gimme Relief program, this time featuring Paul Cott of High Tone Son of a Bitch. Originally formed by brothers Paul and Andrew Kott from the ashes of Oakland prog/doom sludge masters Cruevo, and preceding the Matt Pike-fronted Bay Area metal “supergroup” Kalas, High Tone Son of a Bitch (HTSOB) is a “supergroup” unto itself. Since its founding, HTSOB has pulled together members and collaborators from bands like Necrot, Noothgrush, Kalas, Hammers of Misfortune, Men of Porn, Melvins, Hawkwind, Neurosis, High on Fire, Sleep, the Skull, Worshipper and more. When Andrew Kott died unexpectedly in a tragic fall in 2007, HTSOB disbanded – seemingly forever. Paul Kott revived the band – Paul has allowed his brother’s inspiration to live on, carrying the psychedelic hard rock and post-doom vision of HTSOB forward: a new EP ‘Wicked Threads’ is out now, and we’re stoked for Paul’s guest DJ spot on Gimme. You can also donate to the band via the live tip jar button, and of course: participate in the live chat feature to show your support.

After that, set the home-fest mood by blasting some Midnight on the Megadeth quarantine playlist. It’s 32 hand-picked tracks of the heaviest harbingers to help get you through this grim business, including Powertrip, Carcass and Suicidal Tendencies.

The Hells Decibels tour may be canceled, but you can still listen to the new Satan song “Twelve Infernal Lords” through the Decibel Magazine Flexi series! These are the first notes of new music since the band’s phenomenal Cruel Magic record in 2018, and you can stream it free now. Let me also take this opportunity to advise you to subscribe to our flexi series here so you never miss a piece of malleable metal history ever again, including the soon to break Graf Orlock X-ray picture flexi coming next month!

Once that tone arm settles, pop back on the radio (and pop open another cold one) for a final Gimme Relief episode airing 7pm ET on Saturday April 4 with John Longstreth of Origin. For 20 years, Origin has engaged a full-blown sensory assault of tight, taut, and technical death metal amplified by flashes of grindcore and groove. Their last release ‘Unparalleled Universe’ on Nuclear Blast sees the quartet strengthen that blueprint with a handful of surprises. Be sure to check in to the tip jar to help Origin while they’re sidelined off the road.

If you’re still on your feet by this point then pick out the comfiest chair in your house / apartment / quarantine sex dungeon and get hypnotized digging way down deep into the Magic Circle back catalog here. It’s the perfect soundtrack for clicking through some virtual merch.

By now you’re surely spent and primed to spend. What good is a metal fest without the obligatory booth raid? Luckily you won’t have to lug your longsleeves and LPs around an increasingly sticky (and sweaty) venue, and instead you can mail order the following merchandise right to your grubby little fingers without ever leaving your keyboard. PS: Don’t forget to sanitize.

You might have missed the Necrot – Adroit Theory Collaboration beer before it sold out, but that doesn’t mean you can’t set the stage for your drinking and adorn your abode with this super sick Necrot Wallflag. Setting the appropriate surroundings for your DIY M+B home experience is a crucial part of the equation, you cannot have a proper House-Fest surrounded by pictures of your mom’s Pomeranian, my dood.

Since we’ve all been banished to our domiciles, few things have hit harder than the postponement of the special Napalm Death sets. Get yourself through the dystopia by grabbing one of the exclusive patches here from Nightshift Merch. These won’t last long.

If you’ve still got any greenbacks left in your leather by the time you’ve reached this point, then you’re doing better than me. Consider dropping a few precious bills on our furloughed friends from the Decibel Magazine tour and click through our previous piece on how you can support them in our virtual merch booth, featuring rare tour and fest exclusive shirts from Mayhem, Gatecreeper and Idle Hands.

In addition, the final act from the Decibel Magazine tour, Abbath, has finally made it home and has now posted their exclusive merch for sale as well along with the following message to their fans:

“Outstriders! As you know, the current COVID-19 pandemic resulted in the cancellation of the Decibel Magazine tour just one day before we were supposed to hit the road in North America. We had already arrived in Denver, CO and were rehearsing when we were informed of the situation and had to head back home. As you can imagine, this has been a major loss for the band, just like so many other bands out there who have been severely affected by this situation. If you would like to support the band and help us during these uncertain times, head on over to our merch store and purchase these exclusive designs that we were supposed to sell on the road. Thank you so much for all of the support and don’t worry, we will be back in the states again!”

If that’s not enough to empty your pockets, keep it locked on Gimme Radio all weekend for plenty of more benefit shows from marooned musicians in need. Everyone involved with Metal & Beer Fest from the bands to the brewers to you, the fans, have been severely and negatively affected by this viral hellscape. While we all attempt to recover and piece our way through, if you have the means to contribute then pretend like you’re saddled up to the bar or merchbooth right now and spend (and tip) like there’s no tomorrow. Without your immediate support, for some in these industries there may not be. Even if you can just toss them all a follow, like or share, every little bit of effort right now makes a big difference in the long run. It’s not like you don’t have the time on your hands!

So there you have it, my fellow Fest-waylaid friend. At least 2+ days worth of drinking, destroying your liver and eardrums, and dropping coin on collectors items to help get you through your current lack of communal celebrations. There are worse ways to spend a weekend, and I have been living them for sure. I hope this DIY guide provides you some comfort in this time of heavy [content] needs, or at the very least something new to buy to drown your sorrows in, whether it be solid or liquid. While we await the impending postponement dates of Metal & Beer Fest Philly: 2020, know that I will be lurking in the chatrooms on Gimme Radio, growler or tallboy in hand, typing out hails and salutations to the rest of you poor isolated souls, eagerly awaiting the day when the only time I have to fear being out of breath is 10 minutes into Jane Doe live. We’ll see you soon, don’t sweat it. And wash your fucking hands.