For Those About to Squawk: Waldo’s Pecks of the Year

So, with all of these end-of-the-year lists going around, it gets a little tiresome. I mean, there were some great releases this year, and here’s basically what I’m going to do: I’m going to wing it here, so bear with me or hate on me, who really cares? Not every metal release is the “best of the century” or the “most brutal, heaviest thing in the history of music”; I’m going to peck apart a major music magazines “20 Best Metal Albums of 2015,” some of which I’ve never even heard…

Spectral Wound, Terra Nuillis. With all the current dong-huffing involving black metal, it’s no shock that this made the list. This is a throwback to “old-school” black metal and the overall sound is pretty grating, but where is the songwriting? Each track is replaceable with the one before it. Snooze fest. 4 Fucking Pecks.

Vastum, Hole Below. This is old-school death metal and is pretty pummeling, has the right feel of sloppiness and filth that an old-school death record should have; definitely nor beaking any new ground, but good. 6 Fucking Pecks

Sannhet, Revisionist. Some call this black metal, and, well, it’s more like what people call “hipster black metal”; that kind of Ghost Bath/Deafheaven pretty blackgaze thing. Not my thing, but I’m not shocked this made the list. Not so bad, but not so great. This would’ve been groundbreaking in the mid-’90s. 5 Fucking Pecks.

Iron Maiden, The Book of Souls. This is over an hour long. Iron Maiden stopped being good a long time ago. Suxors, and if you disagree, you’re just pandering. 2 Fucking Pecks

Bosse-de-Nage, All Fours. More avant black metal, YEAH!, kinda grating and irritating, but strays from that “trad black metal path. There are times where BDN have actual songs, so that’s good. I dunno, did someone just throw a cover over my cage? I find this tiresome. 5 Fucking Pecks.

Black Cilice, Mysteries. “REAL BLACK METAL,” and by that I mean “REAL BORING,” I’m sure whoever made this list put this in so they could come across as “kvlt” or “troo,” and this is “trooly” dull. 3 Fucking Pecks

Myrkur, M. WOW, another black metal record? You don’t say. This is kinda cool: a bit symphonic at points, but overall listenable and, well, good for a black metal record. 6 Fucking Pecks.

Torche, Restarter. Heavy, poppy, rocking and melodic. I like this; there’s always something about Torche that kinda kicks me the cloaca a little bit. I preening dig this. 7 Fucking Pecks.

High on Fire, Luminiferous. Pretty cool. Rocking, that’s for sure, but you know, not their best. Can’t hate on it, though. 6 Fucking Pecks.

Obsequiae, Aria of Vernal Tombs. Just the title has me laughing. Overproduced piano black metal that should be sold at Hot Topic. Lame. 2 Fucking Pecks.

Cloud Rat, Qliphoth. Now we’re beaking talking. Fast and furious grind with a nod to sludge, noise and just general ear-fuckery. Awesome. 9 Fucking Pecks.

Dead to a Dying World, Litany. No. 2 Fucking Pecks.

The Body and Thou, You, Whom I Have Always Hated. This is what doom should be: a little arty, a little noisy and preening nasty. 7 Fucking Pecks.

Mgla, Exercises in Futility. The swingin’ on this bands nuts has been crazy this year, and while I appreciate their moxie, this is overrated. 5 Fucking Pecks.

Tribulation, The Children of the Night. I don’t get it. There SURELY has to be better metal records that came out this year. Not into it. 3 Fucking Pecks.

VHOL, Deeper Than Sky. I thought I’d hate this, but I don’t dig Euro thrash that sounds like it’s late ’80s/early ’90s. This is the surprise to me on this list. I love it. 8 Fucking Pecks.

Horrendous, Anareta. I love these guys, and while not my favorite outing by them, this is still a kickass death metal release. 7 Fucking Pecks.

Bell Witch, Four Phantoms. I can dig some funeral doom, but not this one. Play when your newborn won’t settle down and needs a nap. 2 Fucking Pecks.

Krallice, Ygg Huur. I liked their last record, and this is pretty cool. Boy, can these mother peckers play. Always an interesting ride in the tech/black/death experience. This is just twisted at times. 6 Fucking Pecks.

Deafheaven, New Bermuda. OF COURSE this tops the list. I like it… just, is it REALLY metal? This definitely has a post-indie rock feel, and people either love this or hate this. Not me; I just think it’s pretty okay. 6 Fucking Pecks.

There you go. So, like, my end of year list is WAY cooler, but you gotta join the Hatebeak cult to find out what’s on it. Peck off. ‘Til next year…