Listen kids, this video is long and weird and doesn’t make a lick of sense. But it involves metal so we can’t exactly ignore it. But to get to the headbanging you have to roll through a bunch of nuttiness that is pretty much intolerable. Consider this an art film version of every symphonic metal record ever released.
At about 3:15 shit starts getting brutal and then the name “Heavy Metal Wonder Woman” starts making sense… sort of. Before that you have to listen to Tiffany, some cha-cha music and deal with a costumed lady dancing in front of a green screen that’s actually just a screen that’s green in a soundstage. Okay, this pretty much completely sucks. I really wish I could bring you something cooler than this but at least she kind of looks like Mortiis at the end. Looking like Mortiis is pretty cool, right? Actually, watch this video he did for “Mental Maelstrom” and tell his us in the comments which one is shittier. I’m really not sure which one wins.
Oh, and the winner of the Lesbian contest is Josh Gunderson, who “Slow-Biebered” the song “Poisonous Witchball.” He wins because he was the only one who entered. Why didn’t you enter?