The Decibel Study Hall of Fame, Pt.II

Welcome to the second instalment of Decibel’s Study Hall of Fame. Here, my eight-year-old son, Sam cherry picks albums from our illustrious Hall and delivers opinion untainted by the sort of prejudicial bullshit that forces the majority of us to employ phrases like “guilty pleasure” to justify our enjoyment of stuff that supposedly flies in the face of ‘cool.’ Then again, maybe ‘cool’ just comes naturally to this little dude; since we last met, Sam got pissed off at me for not being able to attend a Landmine Marathon/ Skeletonwitch/ Withered show last week and made a guest appearance on Hellbound, the weekly radio show myself and a bunch of my ne’er-do-well buddies have been hosting for four-plus years now. Not to mention that even though the icy grip of winter is starting to take hold of southern Ontario, Sam is still out tearing it up on his skateboard every day. Where does this awesomeness come from? Ask his mother because it’s highly unlikely any of it is coming from a nerd like me.


(Roadrunner, 1996)

I wanted to review the Megadeth album Rust in Peace, but some guy from Decibel said I had to do an album from the Decibel Hall of Fame, so I’m doing Sepultura’s album Roots.

“Roots Bloody Roots” is a great song! I liked the part when singer Max Cavalera says “I’ll take you to a place where we shall find our roots, bloody roots.” I have nothing to say about “Attitude” because it’s not a very good song. “Cut-Throat” has a good chorus, but the music isn’t as good as “Spit,” for example, because the guitar is awesome. I thought it was cool how they had the Xavantes tribe play in the song “Itsari” and “Ratamahatta” is my favourite song on the album, even though I can’t understand what the heck they’re saying. My dad says they’re singing in Portuguese, but I think they might be singing in a made-up language called ‘fuckowackopeas.’ I think it is funny how in the booklet it has a drawing of a marijuana leaf beside the lyrics. In “Straighthate” I like when Max Cavalera says, “Straight fucking hate!

I was told that Sepultura is from Brazil and that the drawing on the cover of the album is some kind of native Brazilian person and I like the picture of the Brazilian tribe on the back. But, the only Brazilian person I know is pro sk8ter Bob Burnquist and he doesn’t look like any of these guys. And, I think he has a moustache.

Hey Decibel people, hurry up and add Rust in Peace to your Hall of Fame; it’s a good album and I want to review it.