No Corporate Beer Reviews: Future You Hates You

Beer: Future You Hates You (Ghost 825)
Brewery: Adroit Theory (Purcelville, VA) / Cushwa Brewing Company (Williamsport, MD)
Style: Stout – Imperial/ Double
13.5% ABV / 60 IBU

When you really, really don’t want to remember what happened yesterday, the Russian Imperial Stout is your best buddy. It’s basically what Arrested Development‘s George Oscar Bluth called a “Forget-Me-Now” in a concentrated elixir – blacker than black, black as your soul, none more black. It’s a style fit for the Romanovs. It can be both blunt in its delivery and as delicately-crafted as a Fabergé egg: When it opens up, the results are frequently surprising.

Future You Hates You – a collaboration between microbreweries Adroit Theory and Cushwa – is an exceptionally pleasing and mellow rendition of this style. Of course, desperate times call for desperate measures: Less than 24 hours after Adroit Theory announced that single cans of its Necrot collaboration kðlsch were available to purchase online, both that and this beautiful and modestly-priced stout sold the fuck out. Just like that – although single tallboy cans should still be available in the Washington DC metro region, along with other areas in the Adroit Theroty distribution footprint.

At 13.5% ABV, Future You Hates You exactly splits the difference between two cult favorites, Surly’s Darkness and 3 Floyds Brewing’s Dark Lord. It’s also 1.5x as strong as North Coast’s widely beloved Old Rasputin, but it really doesn’t feel dramatically boozy. Adroit Theory and Cushwa have hit the sweet spot with the ABV, so Future You Hates You doesn’t have the unpleasant alcohol burn that sometimes accompanies stronger Russian imperial stouts. Skipping barrel aging also proves to be a wise choice with this brew, as there is a really Earthy profile, where you can actually taste the interplay between the malts and hops. Future You would definitely hate You for missing out on this.

For more info, check out Adroit Theory here and Cushwa here.