Decibel has spent plenty of time and column inches telling you about craft beer—did you know we have two metal and craft beer festivals?—but Decibel Metal & Beer Fest/Tour sponsor Liquid Death is a new beast for us. The brand-new canned water company promises to “murder thirst and health-food marketing clichés” with its unique packaging and all-natural water.
In addition to being metal as fuck, Liquid Death is made sustainably with aluminum cans and is designed to look like craft beer, making it the perfect drink to consume at a show if you’re not feeling a beer.
“Liquid Death’s proprietary Thirst Murdering process begins by forming a rope of veins that will wrap around your Thirst’s head and strangle it,” Liquid Death co-founder Mike Cessario explains. “Once Liquid Death reaches your Thirst’s brain, all of your Thirst’s memories will be replaced with repeating loops of its own head imploding. Which is exactly what happens next by it causing your Thirst’s head to implode and its brain to squirt out of its ears. Once your Thirst has been murdered, the soul of your Thirst will begin to escape and float towards the ceiling. At this point, drink a second sip of Liquid Death to rip its soul back down and force it to begin gluing its own body parts back together so that it can crawl inside you and eventually grow into a fully formed Thirst once again.”
Readers in the Los Angeles or Philly area will be able to find Liquid Death in select bars, liquor stores and tattoo parlors, and at Decibel Metal & Beer Fest: Philly. It can also be ordered online via their website and Amazon.
If you’re still on the fence, Liquid Death have one more comparison for you.
“So Liquid Death is really just water? Yep. But in the same way that a machete is just a knife.”