For Those About to Squawk: Dimmu Borgir, Advent of Bedlam, Vampilia

So here we go again, your boy Waldo reviewing all the new releases that are fit to like, or hate…

Wow, this one is going to be tough, as I’m not really a fan of Dimmu Borgir. Eonian is not my thing at all, and to be fair, symphonic black metal seems to be lame in general to me, but enough about that… So, Dimmu is a popular band, but this record just seems really tacky.  Most of the songs blend into each other, and there’s not really any riffs to sink your teeth into. There is a LOT of filler here and it all seems to be stitched together with goofy sounding orchestral parts. This thing has no teeth and actually comes off feeling happy at times. Like I said, I don’t like this band OR this style of music, but this is an EPIC fail. Well, at least they will always have their Star Wars costumes, right? 2 Fucking Pecks.

So there’s a death metal band from Costa Rica?  I always like finding bands from places with really small scenes because typically the band is not tainted by what’s “cool.”  So, Advent Of Bedlam is releasing Human Portal Phenomenon on Horror Pain Gore Death Productions. So, what about it you ask? This is ripping ass death metal. I mean, you don’t get more death metal than this.  This is a little technical, a little melodic and ALL death metal, with HOOKS if you can believe it. This is brutal, and recalls Death, Possessed and like a little Morbid Angel, without sounding like any of those bands.  So if you like death metal, this is a release you shouldn’t sleep on. 7 Fucking Pecks.

What the peck is this garbage?  I mean really?!?! The Swedish band Vampilia are releasing Happiness Brought By Endless Sorrow on Temple of Torturous… Man, this SUCKS BUTT. Weak ass “gothic” sounding black metal (or some approximation of). Maybe this is genius (it’s not) and I just don’t get it (I do, it just blows). Just because you put some blast beats, and screams in your music does not mean you’re intense. This is not beaking good. The weak sauce x100. 1 Fucking Peck.


Usually I’m a little more positive. Until “nest” time!