Will Work For Chips

I think it’s pretty amazing that Chip Kelly still has a job. And not just in the NFL. I mean a job. The dude is basically still riding the wave off the one good season he had in Philly. Ironically, immediately after that one season, he dismantled the team by getting rid of two of his best weapons in DeShawn Jackson and LeSean McCoy. They both went on to have the same caliber careers in Washington and Buffalo respectively, so that was obviously a good move.

He then comes to San Fran, a team reeling with the loss of Jim Harbaugh and needing a long-term leader. Trust me, I think everyone agrees they haven’t found that in Kelly. He’s actually about an offseason and two games away from being fired as Head Coach of the 49ers. But it’s not just his “smarter than thou” mentality or his below average win record. He’s frankly just a fucking idiot of a Head Coach, which more than likely is fueled by his massive ego.

Case in point: the 49ers rumored switching to Colin Kaepernick this week against the Buffalo Bills. The was no clear-cut answer as to what QB the Bills would have to gameplan for. Blaine Gabbert and Colin Kaepernick are two polar opposite players, even though, ironically enough, Blaine Gabbert is starting to look more an more like Kaepernick weekly. Gabbert currently leads the league in rushing for a QB. Yes, that’s true. I did not make that stat up. Insane, right? Back to Kelly: When asked on who was starting at QB this Sunday, he said Colin Kapernick was. Why Kelly would tip his hand like that, I have no idea. But it was unbelievably dumb of him to do. Now the other team can gameplan for him as apposed to Gabbert, Great!

Ok, so Chip Kelly’s an idiot, and the 49ers will likely lose this game by at least 10 points. If you lose to the Bills by 10, it’s like losing to to the Packers by 23, or losing to the Patriots by 49.

The game remains significant, however, because, for the first time the Kaep National Anthem controversy of 2016 takes center stage. This is a road game for Kaepernick in a hostile environment. All that considered though, I actually see the fans being pretty respectful of Kaep and his right to exercise and protest peacefully. I think he’ll be hated on Sunday, but no more than any other QB that infiltrates the Buffalo Bills stadium, which means something. Amidst the shock and awe of the initial controversy, I think people have taken a step back during this pivotal election time and found that Kaep, like everyone else in America, has a right to freedom of speech, and we can not fault him for that. I’m happy to see that.

All Dalled Up

Quarterback battles in a team remind me of every sports talk shows these days: You have one party on one side arguing one point, one on the other side arguing another point, and in the middle you have a moderator, who rarely agrees or sides or gives an rational opinion of their own.

Enter whats looming for the 2016-2017 Dallas Cowboys in about two weeks time. Everything is going well for Dallas right now. They’re coming off a huge statement win for the Dallas Cowboys this week at home against the Cincinatti Bengals. I believe we’ll see how significant a win that was when we see Cincy play New England this weekend, and them keep it much closer.

Even though the wins are coming, everyone is extremely anxious about what is going to happen with this team was QB Tony Romo gets healthy. Is it his team, or Rookie sensation Dak Prescott’s team. By the way, I finally got the first name: Rayne Dakota Prescott.

Romo, at this point, is a Cowboy legend, who sadly has made a career about not being able to win the big game. Also, health has always been a liability. He is mistake prone as well in big situations. But he’s a nice guy, that’s for sure.

This is most likely compared to a Bledsoe/Brady situation in the early 2000s. I believe the NFL rule is to stick with who brought you to the dance and the hot hand, but also not letting anyone significant lose a job to injury.

Rules of thumbs like this are overrated. The main indicator of whether or not you should stick with a certain player at a certain position is based around the analysis of how the rest of the players are playing around him.

Prescott is using all the weapons he is given on that field. He is hitting massive receivers and spreading the football. Also, he and Ezekiel Elliot have a massive chemistry. He is currently the #1 rusher in the league, which is an amazing undertaking as a rookie, but not surprising, considering his offensive line is so staked.

It’s a good problem to have for the Cowboys. Do they go with their proven leader in Tony Romo, or their upstart in Dak Prescot who is on fire right now.

Here’s the main conundrum: If they make a run in to the playoffs, especially with a first round bye, does Dak Prescott have what it takes to lead a team under such pressure? Likely not. Like it or not, Romo, though lacking big game win experience, has big game experience. He’s been in a lot of playoff games, and knows what the big stage is like.

Owner Jerry Jones, a notorious loyalist, likely envisions making good on a promise he made to Romo years ago: To provide him with the right tools to get him to a Superbowl. They have it this year, and with a wide open NFC, why not? The question is whether or not Jones will stick to his promise.

That said, some douche tattoo’d Dak Prescott and Ezekiel Elliot on his chest already, so rather than make him look like a fool, I guess we need to keep Prescott behind center. Wouldn’t want him to look stupid or anything.

Regardless, I’m fairly certain that Tony Romo is gone from Dallas after this year, and more than likely will be whisked away by a high market team that has a lot of weapons and lacking a legit QB. The first that comes to mind is the New York Jets. The second is the Chicago Bears. Or perhaps the LA Rams, a good team that is insistent on having their franchise QB learn and groom before being thrown in the fire.

Just imagine Jared Goff having the luxery of learning under a Romo lead Rams team for the next two to three years? It would be equivalent to Rodgers learning behind Bret Favre.

Wait for it…

This Jeopardy clip reminded me of the Carolina Panthers after this week.

They we’re everyone’s pick to click this year for the NFC. And now they are 1-4. So as far as 2016 is concerned, they’re losers.

If there’s one game that I thought they should have won to do Cam a favor before coming back, I would have said it was their game this past week against Tampa Bay on Monday. It was one of the worst football games I’ve seen in years. John Gruden also agreed.

Part of the reason, probably, was the fact that it was on a giant stage, granted. We expect to be more entertained by those games. But also, each team gave the other several chances to take the game and run away with it, and neither did. It FINALLY ended on a last minute fieldgoal by 2nd round pick, and the most reputable college football kicker in history, Roberto Aguayo, nailing a 20 yard field goal for the win. What a fiasco this game was.

Meanwhile in Carolina, we are witnessing the textbook Superbowl slump rear its ugly head again in the form of this season from hell. History says Carolina is done for the year, and you know what’s coming next? Yes, an offseason filled with people second guessing Cam Newton, and him fighting us and the media every step of the way. With Cam, it seems like that train is never late.

This Show is Tight

TV watchers, I wanted to bring attention to show on that just launched on garbage TV that you can watch with your girlfriends and still be entertained by.

Obviously we all know one of the reoccurring NFL offseason stories this year was Aaron Rodgers brother winning The Bachelor. Rodgers, who basically hates his Brother, avoided any and all questions about him when asked. E!, a network that is genius and revolutionary with bullshit reality TV, came up with the genius idea of making the whole dating show based around the Football player. Enter Catching Kelce. The show revolves around Travis Kielce, KC’s Tight End, on a Flavor of Love style dating contest show. Very cool premise, even if it is obviously a pre-tapped show that already has an outcome.

The swerve: one of the girls on the show is the daughter of a famous NFL player. Her name is Avery, and she’s a total smokeshow. She is the Daughter of Mark Schlereth.

I almost guarantee she wins this contest, or at least gets to the final 2, and has a spin off of NFL Football players all going after her love.

Skin and Bones

And finally this week, I wanted to address an interesting Football statistic involving the Washington Redskins.

In the history of the Washington Redskins, in the final home game in an election year before the election, the Skins essentially control who wins the election. If they win the game, the incumbent candidate wins the election. If the Redskins lose, the the opposing party candidate wins the election. I found this interesting, especially considering the Skins play the Eagles this week, two seemingly evenly matched teams, with America’s fate on the line.. Oh, I also found out that Kenneth Bone, seen here, is actually only 34 years old. He looks like he’s 64!

That means he only two years older than me, and I look 20 years younger. Can you feel me, lazy people who don’t do anything all day? We’re winning!