For Those About to Squawk: Waldo’s Pecks of the Week

Well, it’s that time of the month again, beak freaks, and we’re going to spew about some new releases. Shameless self-promotion: the new HATEBEAK record (featuring yours truly), The Number of the Beak, is coming out on Reptilian Records, so like, go pick that up. Of course, it’s 10 fucking pecks and probably the best thing you’ll hear, like, ever. Okay, enough of me preening my own feathers; let’s talk about some other bands you guys should or shouldn’t cram in your earholes. Also, it seems like there are a TON of bands like releasing DVDs, and your old boy Waldo is a little shocked by that, but hey: EVERYONE needs a Black Veil Brides DVD to keep the dust off of the actual shelf, don’t they?

Featuring the original rhythm section from horror music legends Goblin, GOBLIN REBIRTH is releasing their self-titled on Relapse. I’m into things like this, and get a little excited about them. This is that proggy type of music that is found in ’70s foreign horror films, mostly by Dario Argento. Calling this metal is a REAL stretch, but it’s one of those releases that will appeal to most metalheads. The production here is great and definitely more up to date than a lot of stuff like this. When I say up to date, I mean that the production, the instruments and the overall sound of the thing harkens back to the days when this style was invented. I also gotta add that this moves, even though it’s entirely instrumental; the passages are varied enough to keep the listener interested, but not noodly enough that one gets lost. One doesn’t even notice the lack of Claudio Simonetti, so all that being said, bathe yourself in red light and pump this. 7 Fucking Pecks.

I used to love me some Victory Records, but sheesh do they blow now, and ex members of Dr. Acula in KISSING CANDICE do not change my mind. This is utter and pure garbage marketed to Hot Topic kids who don’t know any better. On Blind Until We Burn, these guys dress in like serial killer sorta masks and cover themselves in blood, and scream over chugs, and then have like singy parts about their girlfriend leaving them. Boy howdy, this sucks. Just look at these jokers. Whoever Candice is, uhhh, like, stop kissing these jagaloons. 1 Fucking Peck.

I had pretty high hopes for a band called BONEGNAWER and their new record Cannibal Crematorium, and I gotta say I’m disappointed… only a little, though. This is death metal, no doubt, and there are some great riffs, but I guess I wanted it a little more “kvlt.” Not to say this is new jack, because it’s not. There just feels like there’s no real punch in this; although, actually, it’s growing on me. There are, of course, horror samples, and it’s got a groove and is pretty mean-sounding. There are some thrashy type passages, some groovy riffs and, you know, like, death metal. This reminds me a little of Lord Gore, and the production here is clean, but lacking something I just can’t put my talon on. Whatever, it’s pretty cool. 6 Fucking Pecks.

I really want to review the new IMMORTAL BIRD, because I think they’re cool, but I can’t find any tracks online.