Boss Kong rides to live and lives to ride – and also do lots of drugs, have lots of sex, and get in more fights than Muhammad Ali. He may only exist in the pages of the Image comic book The Humans, but that hasn’t stopped him from recording an album. That’s how badass this dude is. The Humans Soundtrack Volume II chronicles his experiences leading his pack of wild apes across the sun-blasted deserts of late 60s-early 70s California and blasting Commies in the jungles of Vietnam. It was released as a piece of Record Store Day ephemera (because there’s Boss Kong loves capitalism, obviously), but we have the exclusive Internet premiere for you below. The Boss himself even found time in between his snorting and whoring to answer some of our stupid questions.
How badly would you kick the Gorillaz’ asses in a fight?
We don’t hit girls. Usually.
Which do you prefer, bananas or cocaine?
This is obviously a trick question because everyone knows the best thing in the world is when you dip your banana IN cocaine. And I mean that both literally and figuratively. But when me & the boys finally synthesize banana-flavored blow we’ll be fucking millionaires.
Is it hard playing your instruments with ape fingers?
I don’t know, smart guy. Is it hard asking questions when you’ve been punched in the face this many times?
Why did you choose dirty metal as the vehicle to tell your story?
Who are you calling dirty?
What do you consider the promised land?
San Bernardino, obviously. It’s got everything we need: Whores, meth, and whores. Plus, the friendly staff at the West Valley Detention Center.
Who’s worse, music critics or the Vietcong?
Not much difference, is there? They both pop out of their little holes when you least expect it and try to shoot you in the face. And they’re all Communists.
Other than you, who would win in a fight, Donkey Kong or Boss Hogg?
Is your music so poorly produced because so many years of riding a motorcycle have blown out your eardrums?
Are your interviews so bad because all those years of having your head up your ass have left you with shit for brains?
What’s your writing process like?
That scene in Wild At Heart when Crispin Glover is making his lunch.
What’s the craziest thing that ever happened to you at a live show?
We played a backyard party for the Humans once and they ran out of cocaine and underage whores. Luckily, Chuck Berry was in town—so crisis averted or whatever.
What’s your favorite band?
Would you ever consider recording these songs with an orchestra?
Only if Lou Reed’s corpse is available to sing out-of-tune duets.
How do you establish dominance over the other members of your band?
By height. And severe beatings.
Have you ever read Decibel magazine? If so, what do you think of it?
No, but I did wipe my hairy butt hole with it once. It chafed.