We’ll make this intro concise as possible, so as to allow readers to break on through to the other side that much quicker: A) False Prism and Cavern Apothecary — presented by Sadgiqacea and Hivelords, respectively — are two of the best, most intriguing mindfuck metal releases of the year thus far. B) The bands just wrapped a lengthy tour together. C) After two tour diaries penned by a mysterious scribe amongst them known as “The Portalist” (Part 1, Part 2) Fred Sadgiqacea walks us through the endgame…
July 30th: Dear Frisco, Yer next, and shit are you cold! Folivore brought an onslaught of smoke and riffs that seemed to rise from the cracks in the streets and pierce our empty vessels. 24 oz PBRs were something to cool us off from the hellish heat Hivelords had left behind. Smoldering crags shot up from the floor and straight into a black hole as a transition from them to Sadgiqacea, and then the night grew $3.00 colder…
July 31st: Que Sera, Sera, in Long Beach, brought forth a warm welcome from our Pigeon Winged friend Ryan, Earsplit and CVLT Nation. The night was full of good vibes from all. Doctorshopper performed open heart surgery on us with a black metal induced sphere of energy, the crowd was livid for us all, and we had the pleasure of seeing a familiar face to catch it all on camera. Killer posters were printed with art by none other but Tom Denney. The night ended at our gracious hostess’s with Sausage and meatball sandies, a giant bag of Tortilla chips n salsa for the boys, and the classic Stephen King horror flick, The Mist. Fuck Yes.
August 1st: Off to Vegas in the hot sun and the strip is not our objective. We arrive at James’s KVLT HOVSE of blood magic and sorcery around 10, and the night is as young as the innocent faust. Hivelords and Sadgiqacea strip the audience of their vocal chords and charge their eardrums with chaos. We leave off with a Transylvanian Hunger to linger in the desert night air…After a lengthy farewell to the Walmart thirty pack thieves and a most enthusiastic group of new fans, we hightail it to Tuscon before the sun make us it’s bitch.
August 2nd: Too late!
After a morning of rotating drivers and sweat drenched passengers, we chilled our boiling skin in the cool of Dweller Lucas’ cave for a bit. Then, we packed in for a free show at the District Tavern with a Conqueror worm that writhed. Cave Dweller impaled us with falling stalactites and we did our best to puncture through the hearts of all the curious passerby’s. Mickey and David of God Hunter put us up for the night with six beds, a Rottweiler/lab mix, bong hits n’ breakfast. Rad times. New buds.
August 3rd: Las Cruces, New Mexico was in our sites now and we booked it to the industrial parkway building that was our venue. We made it in time to grab some beers before all the Trainyard kids crept from the shadows of the streets. They hoped to find something heavy to carry home in their severed heads, and what luck! Oryx filled their skulls with mossy boulders by the ton. Sadg and Hivelords piled it on, topping them with a black ooze to seal their wounds. The night was capped with a surprise spit session from A Dead Fox with a new NM prodigy, and hide the drugs! We’re hitting a checkpoint!
August 4th:San Antonio, here we come! We were greeted with a welcome back from our favorite Texan, Boxed Wine Bryan and his new playful terrier pup, Bella. Some of the boys reminisce in bowl hits while the others crash out for a bit. Poorcore Headquarters is a perfect spot to buy a new cymbal from a KISS cover band drummer. And I made out with two, all before the show, for a bargain. Mt. Sherpa blew cold winds from its peaks to our ears, burying us in the sky. Vomit covered phone? Okay. Some Kind of Monster projected on the wall and homemade wine? Why the fuck not? Hilarious.
August 5th: The Dirty Dog in Austin, TX was the place we scrambled to after a refreshing dip in the chilling Barton Springs. Thanks to James of Texas Metal collective for all the love, and rounds of Lone Star with shots of sweet mystery nectar for the crew. Mills was curbed of his skills that night, but it was a rad night nonetheless. Rust gave us tetanus in riffs with flowing rhythms, and our new friends in Old and Ill came out to support us too. Sick night, but we must pile in now and choose among us. Who will be the nocturnal ones? New Orleans bound! We must make haste!
August 6th: NOLA!!!! We’re finally in you! Whatta ya got for us?! Hotel Rooftop swimming with our gracious hostess Candice/ Air Conditioned power naps? Alright! You can walk outside with your drink at any bar? Okay! Smoke weed right outside? “Who gives a fuck, this is Nawlins!” Solid Giant, Lord Dying and Howl killed shit. We got to enjoy some free Louisiana style cookin’ at the bar and then crashed out back at Candice’s. Not bad. We’ll party in you more in the future NOLA, but we gotta stay on track…off to Florida!
August 7th: Talahassee was as humid as the cleavage of a fire witch’s tits and Last True Evil brought a hybrid of slaying forces to the locals’ ears. Sadg and Lords ripped Tally a new one and tore outta there after a few generous beers from the owners. We had Brother Wyatt’s place to crash.
August 8th: “The roaches crawl in here to die,” Wyatt exclaimed to Will and I as we settled in our guest room for a hearty snooze. Sweet, heavy dreams loomed in that house for hours. Showers were had and a bong was hit by some. Feeling re-energized, we headed down the road to a skate park/venue, called Epic Problem. We reunited with our friends from last summer in Landbridge and made new ones with Seraph/ The Light. Even saw some familiar Jersey faces. After the musical killing spree, we headed back to Wyatt’s with the fastest of foods. Bongloads seemed fitting for Grandma’s Boy, and our eyelids snapped shut once again.
August 9th: Early morning we set off for Grown up House in Miami. Upon arrival our stomachs were rumbling and low on fuel. Shishkabobs and rice with veggies and garlic bread hit the spot. We washed it down with some Booch (Busch), and PBR. A Tommy Boy drinking game with Ashley, our hostess kept us entertained before the storm of sound we’d unleash on the natives later that evening. Holly Hunt stopped by to show their gratitude and we became instant friends. Sadie Hawkins closed out the night proper for the lot of em’ who packed the inside of that tiny apartment. Burritos were made courtesy of Mills for the crew. It was just the dose we all needed to drop to the floor while the Mask played to snoring hounds. We awoke to a breakfast offering we couldn’t refuse from an interesting new fan named Rena and hit the road.
August 10th: Orlando was sick. Cartel was rad. All the bands were great, especially Tunnels. Holy shit. Two-piece love. Some of us enjoyed giant burritos from an Asian/Mexican fusion joint, while others played some rounds of pool. We found a mention in the city paper of us, which was sweet. And we stayed at Victoria and Jonathan’s that night. These rad, hospitable strangers became our new Orlando buds. There was Little Nicky and PBRs for the day-sleepers among us. It was a true Florida experience. Evasive Moss dangled from the great oaks and lizards scampered in the palms. Good times. On to the Shantytown!!!
August 11th: Shantytown! Where the yeungling flowed for us that felt parched and homebrew sick….Where Nisroch started the night off with a globe shaking resonance and Porter shook our very bowels…And let us not forgeteth our old friend, Victor, Whose scratchy vocal cords howl in the night with phrases like…Chicken Pillowwww? Had to be there…Hmm..Fuck Yeahhh… Awesome night. Crashed with a polar bear dog and hit it to South Carolina!
August 12th: Conundrum Music Hall was cool and we enjoyed the night, but holy shit, Sein Zum Tode, WTF! Crazy awesome. Gotta see em for yourselves! Alex of Abacus put us up for the night, but not without beers and a movie first. The new Evil Dead…we all had mixed feelings about it, but entertaining for sure. Alex made us Breakfast like a boss and directed us to a swimming spot nearby. Our crew chilled their bones for hours while I walked the tracks for skulls. I found a dog-like skull and some rodent remains. Fucking sweet. We piled back in the van and headed to the Courtroom in Rock Hill…
August 13th: The Courtroom is such a sweet venue. The sound is always amazing. A night there wouldn’t be complete without some good ol’ interaction with The Professor — rad art teacher who sells beer at the bench! Always has something smart to say — Toothless Gospel pulled the mood in the room like a washing current. He sent the blues coursing through our veins with our blood. Deeply moved, Hivelords shattered our realm and Sadg flung the viewers into orbit.
August 14th: The World Famous Milestone Club in Charlotte, North Carolina! Always a great time there! $1.00 24oz PBRs for the bands, hospitality for daze with old friends! Pants’ Legendary Home cooked meals to stuff us good, and all around heavy listening every time! No complaints! The shows never disappoint. Ever. Pants, Doob, Christine, Ricky…We love all you fuckers out there!
August 15th: It’s getting close now, we can feel it in the cool of the air, we’re almost home. But first, a show in Virginia Beach with Cremains and RAVN! Woah, Harrison Steel, you maniac, You! You shred like a werewolf. Let’s party!
August 16th: We’re now at Strange Matter, the coolest fuckin’ bar in RVA! RAVN, for a second night, kills everything in it’s path with a murder of it’s own. Charlie is a beast on drums. Let’s not forget the devastation Cremains left in their wake. But, really, MIAMI NIGHTS, HOLY FUCK, bring that shit down for us! What an earth quaking trio.
Sweet. Tour’s over. It had been forty-four days with these dudes, and we’d all grown to know each other’s smells to a Tee. Tour kicked our ass in the best way possible and we weren’t salty about shit. But, the dudery was at it’s peak and we missed the sweet sweet aroma of our sexy sex kittens. Our tasty babe bots.It was time to go home.
August 17th: By nightfall, I’m sure we had all quenched our sexual thirsts for a short while or at least enough to keep a level head to play our last show. This was the real last show of tour. We had all been through so much, but had such a fucking awesome time. For one last night, we came together and played our fucking hearts out. Occult 45 set us up for destruction earlier on, and from there, we made sure to obliterate everything in front of us. There was a lively crowd full of friends and family that night. It was good to be fucking home. We love you Philly and all of your metal-headed inhabitants! Cheers! Hails! And Love from SADGIQACEA and HIVELORDS.
