Real Life Leprechaun: Cauldron Tour Diary Part II

We asked Toronto’s premiere purveyors of “true, unadulterated heavy metal” Cauldron to keep tabs on the havoc and devastation left in the wake of the band’s epic America’s Lost tour and dudes did not disappoint. Part I lives here. Part II is posted below. Purchase the excellent Tomorrow’s Lost here. A handful of remaining dates are posted at the end of this entry.
Carrying on from the first half of our adventure, Cauldron set its sights on Western Canada and the United States. While en route to Edmonton we stopped to gas up in Lashburn, Saskatchewan. We piled out of the van and were met by a couple standing outside the station, smoking. Using their powers of observation they asked us one of the daily questions we received all tour — Are you guys in a band? Other questions frequently asked — Have you ever watched trailer park boys? Have you seen the movies Fubar and Fubar 2? Did you know that you’re really tall? Anyway, we decided to have a little fun and replied with a round of sarcastic No’s. The lady was persistent and kept asking what our band was called. Ian turned around and barked “Nocturnal Mortuary!!!” which nearly knocked her backwards. Mildly annoyed she said, “You guys are lying to me! You guys are playing in Edmonton tonight aren’t you? Well so are we” — they happened to be in a band, too — “and we’re gonna tell our friends not to go see you play.” To which Jason replied “Good ’cause we’re sold out anyway!” Then we drove off before they could cut our break lines.


The shows in the States were cool, especially on the west coast. We were playing better than we did in Europe and the crowds — big and small — seemed pretty enthusiastic. We ate lots of sketchy mexican food and drank litres of cheap american beer. All I wanted for my thirtieth birthday was to play a dismally attended show in some sketchy, all-ages basement club in Mesa, Arizona. I got my wish! Later on we shot gunned some beers to commemorate the occasion.


We met a real life Leprechaun in Lawrence, Kansas. A group of us were standing outside the bar, talking about tour — another frequent topic of discussion — when out of the front door walks a short, heavily built dude clad in a green work vest, green cut off corduroys and a brown leather top hat! He’d shaved off his eye brows and tattooed lightning bolts as replacements. He also had lightning bolts tattooed under his eyes. He was talking about his pot of gold or something and I happened to glance over at Ian. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was about to burst into laughter and he immediately left the group to seek refuge in the van. I needed a picture of this guy or else no one would ever believe this story so I dashed back to the van to grab my camera. However when I returned, the Leprechaun had already left. I suppose he had to catch the next rainbow out of town.