Ha! I’ve finally received a heavy metal tattoo for critical analysis! This week’s installment of Flesh Parade comes from Josh over at the LunchMeat VHS fanzine.
Josh says that he got this tattoo after a night of heavy drinking. Drunk points? Check.
Josh continues, “It was decided that my buddy, who was the piercer of the shop, and had never tattooed ANYONE before, should be the one to ink it.” Nihilism points? Check.
“It was extra ridiculous because he had just broken his arm a week earlier because he was on acid and he thought he was Spiderman and fell off a roof.” Now you’re pushing it, buddy. Definite points deduction.
The tattoo looks like someone wrote in lipstick on a butt cheek. Positive points awarded.
Then another deduction for the boyish, hairless ass. When I get my ass tattoo, it will have an afro.
Finally, many points are awarded for having anything tattooed on your ass, and then that number is doubled because it’s a Slayer tattoo.
Had there been a misspelling, or had this been a cock tattoo, I could have given it a perfect score.
As is, Josh scores a 10 of 10 for that wonderful piece of assmeat. (A perfect score is an 11.)
…And as an excuse to whip your ass out at every party for the rest of your life – it’s priceless.
And if you dig VHS tapes and horror, then you should definitely start digging the LunchMeat fanzine. It’s got movie reviews and insider information. It’s got old school horror and hot babes slicing themselves open. All for your classic VCR! Fuck Betamax and fuck DVD. Issue 6 is coming out soon!
And hey! If you’ve got something to plug, send your ink and info to firstname.lastname@example.org, and your ink will be in Flesh Parade! Bite And Get In It!