We’re just a few weeks away from the return of the NFL, thank god. So, as usual, we contacted some of our favorite extreme musicians to pump up the underachieving fuck-ups they call their favorite teams. This Tuesday, Red Chord bassist and still-reigning Hottest Dood in Metal Greg Weeks has typically high hopes for his beloved Cheatriots.
The season is finally upon us! I’m so excited that the NFL and its players could finally come to an agreement so suckers like me are able once again to sit through four hours of beer and truck ads and one hour of football every Sunday, Monday and eight times on Thursday. Rejoice!
Here in New England the big news was, of course, the re-signing of running back BenJarvus Green-Ellis. We also picked up the lesser-known Chad “85” Ochocinco and Albert Haynesworth, or as my good friend Vasco calls them, “the most overrated player in the NFL and the laziest player in the NFL.” Coming over to the dark side this season is former Jets DE Shaun Ellis. After 11 “ringless” years, Shaun decided to head on over to Foxboro and his former artery-clogged foot enthusiast coach had this to say: “The fact that he chose them… like I said before, there’s no way I’m going to wish him well.” Shaun will get to play his former team twice this season.
Another game I am pumped for is on Oct. 30 against the Steelers. Our drummer is a huge Steelers fan, and we just happen to be playing a show in Boston that night. He claims that he’ll be displaying his Terrible Towel on his kick drum that evening. I can’t wait to see his face after I urinate on it in the middle of the show. Take that Charn! To everyone else, the best of luck to your team and enjoy the season!