Lament of Bruno Ganz: Heavy Metal Edition

In a just world Swiss actor Bruno Ganz would be better known for his work in Wim Wenders’ Wings of Desire, Herzog’s Nosferatu or, yes, his chillingly-authentic turn in Downfall than he is for a four-minute-performance-cum-fodder for a seemingly endless series of YouTube parodies — “The Hitler Meme,” as the New York Times dubbed it a few years back. Have there been occasional flashes of homespun brilliance? Sure. See, for example, Hitler hating on Jay Leno (“Anyone who hasn’t dyed their pubes red in support of Team Coco, get the eff out”) or plotting his dream trip to Burning Man (“I wish I lived in San Francisco. I would build the scariest fucking art car, black with huge flames and skulls. People would see it and they would shit their pants!”). Alas, as Hitler himself put it in this meta-parody of the parodies, it eventually became “a bunch of geek losers with iMovie jumping on the latest nerd bandwagon.”

“I slaughtered millions, cut a bloody path of destruction across Europe, and for what? So I could be the latest juvenile web fad, no better than YouTube Fred or that stupid fucking hamster?”

Nevertheless, much as the Renaissance followed the Dark Ages so too have several recent heavy metal-centric rants re-instilled a bit of cleverness into the Downfall parody — for Decibel readers, if no one else. A sampling resides below — oh, and if you’re thinking of Googling “Hitler” and “Black Metal” looking for the funny, save yourself the time and disappointment in humanity.

Hitler on new Morbid Angel: “I’d only just got over the new Craptopsy album!”

Hitler on Metallica collaborating with “that cunt from the Velvet Underground”: “It’s not like anyone listens to Puppets and goes, ‘Awesome, but no Lou Reed?'”

After the jump Hitler complains about his lost-in-the-mail Integrity pre-order and more…

“If the last Integrity record you bought was Seasons in the Size of Days get the fuck out of my face”:

Pros and Cons of Heavy Metal:

Hitler plans to start a metal band: “Oh my fucking God, no, Jodl! Bagpipes suck!”

Hitler infuriated by the paucity of Big 4 dates: “My Fuhrer, Anthrax is a solid thrash band!”