Lordi: Fakest Metal Band Ever

Finnish “heavy metallers” Lordi have gone 3-times Platinum (90,000 copies sold) in their native Finland, Gold (30,000 copies sold) in Sweden, Gold in Germany (100,000 copies sold) and have probably earned sales medals throughout Europe. Pretty neat considering Lordi are nothing but a bunch of fakers. Check out this clip from 2006. The horror-masked Finns are rambling through one of their moronic tunes and guess what? Milli Vanilli showed up. No, Fab Morvan and Rob Pilatus didn’t join Lordi on stage for a heavy rendition of “Blame It on the Rain”. Though that would’ve been really funny. Rather, Lordi’s backing track began to skip. Actually, that’s funnier, but a backing track? For a heavy metal band? Insane.

But what’s worse, however, is that the Europeans in attendance didn’t seem to mind the band “performing” on stage were actually “performing” and not playing. They cheered as much as they jeered, not realizing whatever Euro they spent to watch Mr. Lordi and his crew of Finnish fuck-ups was to listen to a CD play on really big speakers, while a group of idiots postured like Jim Henson’s excrement on stage.

I think it’s time for the faking to end. On stage and in the studio.