Wolvhammer Star In: Yet Another Tour Diary, Except This One’s Maybe Funny and Original II: The Secret of the Booze

When they’re not getting down with the Cinnabon sickness at the Mall of America, Minneapolis BM punks Wolvhammer enjoy decimating faces on tour. Drummer/resident smartass Heath Rave will give us the gory, hopefully idiotic details.
Thursday, Oct 28

Good morning/afternoon/evening to all of my fellow fans of heavy music (i.e. snobby, opinionated, nerdy shitheads). I’ve received the privilege of updating you wonderful people on the goings-on of Wolvhammer on our fall tour. Hopefully we can avoid the usual boring info of where we ate and that we got drunk, cause let’s face it: we’re going to eat and get drunk. That’s what mammals do.

Today was your usual day of before-tour crap. Scrambling on confirming that all shows were going through, organizing merch, blah blah blah. And, of course, getting one last day of work in, ’cause, you know, we make fucktons of money playing our brand of whatever for 10 to 30 whoevers wherever on whatever night of the week.

This diary will definitely be more fun than this first entry, but as I sit here and ponder getting some sleep while I anticipate the arrival of one the coolest fucking dudes ever—Stavros Giannopoulos of the Atlas Moth/Twilight, to show up with our van that they borrowed for their last tour and babysit us for a couple weeks—I gotta throw out a serious reflection on the day: Today was my last day working with one of my best friends Andrew Hefner. He got an awesome opportunity to work with some cool fucking dudes, and I couldn’t be happier for him. We’ve spent the last three years scaring the shit out of barely legal 18-year-olds getting their first crappy tattoos of rosaries or the word “believe” upside down on their wrists while we made them listen to Burzum and Gorgoroth and generally told them to shut the fuck up. I’m gonna miss you, buddy. Thanks for the Ulver poster. BTW, your red plaid looks way more Seattle than my brown.

Tomorrow we leave for the good old grind in the van to see some friends, burn some cities down and get seriously awesome. Let’s see what happens, folks.