Black Metal Album Art – Classics Redux

By: Chris D. Posted in: uncategorized On: Friday, January 21st, 2011

Peter Beste copyright

All, well most, metal writers are members of or ghost message boards. You know, places where like-minded folk with very niche-musical tastes congregate. In fact, Decibel has a forum. You should join and sling your David-sized opinions against dB forum goliaths! Anyway, it’s where we digitally travel to pontificate (very important), research (not very important), and, sorry members of the fairer sex, have fun (only when proverbial shit hits the fan).

When I discovered a post titled, “Design Cover art upgrades for the Black Metal classics”, at a Relapse Records (no official affiliation, actually) alternate universe message board, I had to click it. Now typically these types of posts elicit a chuckle or two but no more than that. Then it’s on to other posts, possibly NSFW-type ones while I’m at W, for the good stuff. Not this time. The “cover artists” have some true gems here. Really laughable stuff. That is if you know the artists and the albums Reeelapse forum members are lampooning.

All-too-required legal notice: If you are drinking a beverage (hot or cold or lukewarm) and spew said beverage onto your monitor, keyboard, desk, or laptop we’re not responsible. So, put down the “I <3 Squirrels” coffee mug and enjoy. Oh, if you’re in cubicleland it might be wise to wear a muzzle (if you have one handy).

Bathory - Octagon

Bathory - "Octagon"

Samael - Ceremony of Opposites

Samael - "Ceremony of Opposites"

Diabolical Masquerade - "Nightwork"

Diabolical Masquerade - "Nightwork"

Immortal - Blizzard Beasts

Immortal - "Blizzard Beasts"

Beherit - Drawing Down the Moon

Beherit - "Drawing Down the Moon"

Emperor - Anthems to the Welkin at Dusk

Emperor - "Anthems to the Welkin at Dusk"

Marduk - Panzer Division Marduk

Marduk - "Panzer Division Marduk"

Darkthrone - Transilvanian Hunger

Darkthrone - "Transilvanian Hunger"

Mercyful Fate - Don't Break the Oath

Mercyful Fate - "Don't Break the Oath"

Burzum - Filosofem

Burzum - "Filosofem"

Darkthrone - Soulside Journey

Darkthrone - "Soulside Journey"

Immortal - Pure Holocaust

Immortal - "Pure Holocaust"

Dissection - The Somberlain

Dissection - "The Somberlain"

Carpathian Forest - Black Shining Leather

Carpathian Forest - "Black Shining Leather"

  • reeeeee

    Fuck off!

  • sincerely s bowlin

    Seems like you are doing some digital banditry by not giving credit to whoever created those covers. Do you have a ‘steal this hot new record’ thread in your forum? Because I am thinking it is in there hidden.

  • Decibellend

    Chris D, you are fucking asshole!

  • Decibellend

    What I meant to say, is “Chris D, you are a fucking asshole!”

    I really mean it.

  • ShittyPosterInflux
  • Tony Twist

    Thanks for taking one of my shitty MS Paint mockups and using it for your shitty magazine. Appreciate it.

  • pAppY

    does this mean I’m famous?

    • WIZ

      Yes! You’re a legend in my mind.

  • Xipe Totec

    I see you are too wimpy to put that amazing Darkthrone: Goatselord picture up – soft cocks

  • Nyarlath

    IMMORTAL!!! LMFAO!!!!!

  • Ragman2011

    Such stupidity, seems that you don’t like black metal!! what a moron!!