Encrotchment: Christmas Cookie Edition

The lines between Anna Kendrick and Tina Fey are becoming more and more blurred every day.
Look to the Cookie, Everyone. Look to the Cookie.

This week, instead of watching football at my house in the dark, I went to my aunt’s house to make Christmas cookies with her. As I walked through the door, she said, “You can put on the football if you want.” I already had my hands on the remote.

My aunt was rocking the “Seattle Look”: blue and black flannel shirt, presumably to make me comfortable, because of my ties to the grunge scene. I immediately proceeded to put a $300 sharp-as-hell knife to my throat to show how “metal” I was. About 30 minutes later, I actually began baking.

When it was time to decorate my cookies, someone asked me (more than likely a voice in my head) who was going to make it to the playoffs after this upcoming 17th week of football, and how the rankings would break down. I proceeded to express my thoughts like all geniuses do: via cookie decoration (equipped with the icing-wielding skills of a nine-year-old).

Take a gander to see my predictions.


I love all of you that read this column, and I wish you happy holidays, and whatever y’all dig. Next week, Encrotchment, Playoff Edition, Week: 1. All games analyzed. All games picked. Spread the word and your legs.

Pick of the Week

St. Louis + 13 over Seattle