Coprolite Crüe: The Deciblog Interview With Shitfucker

Shitfucker caught our attention with their 2013 Hells Headbanger’s release Suck Cocks in Hell, which received an “8” in the pages of our print sibling. The record contains some of the most infectious, rocking songs that have crept from the underground in a dog’s age.
Shitfucker took it up another notch with the wonderfully low-fi video for “Sex Dungeon,” which wrecks Roger Meno’s Euro Disco 80s hit “I Find The Way” as much as Buffalo Bill damaged “Goodbye Horses” with his famous mangina dance. Mötley Crüe will be going out on their final tour soon; if they want to make it a shitload more interesting they’d bring this band.

Zyklon T. agreed to an e-mail interview from somewhere in Detroit and gave Decibel his thoughts on modern metal. Disclaimer: if you are politically correct or lack a sense of humor forego the following interview, as it will likely trigger a Twitter outburst, and we’re tired of those. Also, don’t watch the video below at work unless you’ve saved well or have an understanding boss.

How did Shitfucker start playing together?

Shitfucker was formed by three teenage wastes in 2005 with the intent to play loud, evil hardcore punk. The main influences were Discharge, Disclose, Gloom and The Shitlickers. Around the time of the second demo “Human Disorder,” I joined on second guitar. Soon after our drummer Kaos left to join the band Anguish. Butcher SS went from guitar to drums and I became the only guitar player as the band returned to a power trio. After much drugging and boozing Butcher SS was unable to cope with the loose and lethal lifestyle and had to go to the funny farm! Styx Chizzler was Demonbitch’s roomate and we forced a top hat on his head and a studded leather harness on his chest and made him the new drummer. Demonbitch has remained constant as bassist and vocalist.
Did you listen to Venom’s Welcome To Hell nonstop on replay throughout childhood?

No. I’ve never heard that one. I’m only into post-Possessed era Venom. Calm Before The Storm, Prime Evil, Temples Of Ice….The Wastelands! That’s one of their best albums and I bet you’ve never even heard of it! The cover is total garbage, it’s great! I refuse to even check out Welcome To Hell cause every white girl with hipster glasses and a bad haircut who thinks they’re a witch and has a Tumblr also has a Venom Welcome To Hell tote bag.
Did any of you graduate from high school or were you already nomadic at that point?

Yes. I think at least two of us graduated. It was like the movie Rock And Roll High School but if Shitfucker was The Ramones and all of the other students had Down’s Syndrome. That’s the closest thing I can relate it to. Ripping it up on top of the desks in a special ed classroom.
Detroit is in such bad shape; can your band be part of the revival of the Motor City?

Maybe we think places like Portland, L.A. And Austin are in bad shape? Too gentrified with hipsters, posers, and yuppies! We like the abject violence and numbing horror that we live in. It’s an outsider town and and we are an outsider band making outsider music. Too be honest, a lot of our savage and sleazy attitude comes from our forefathers of 70’s Motor City rock! Alice Cooper, The Stooges, Ted Nugent, MC5, Grand Funk Railroad…none of those bands gave a fuck what anybody thought. People called Alice and Iggy gay all the time but they’d just rock’ n roll and then get off stage and fuck your girlfriend. That’s how we live as well. KISS named it “Detroit Rock City” for a reason motherfucker.

Do you play much outside of Detroit? Or if you toured would you just black out the whole time?

We play outside of Detroit when we feel like it. If we get offered a good string of shows or a festival that is in line with our vision of metal or punk then we usually do them. We’re not out there trying to “make it” … playing Milwaukee on a Tuesday night or anything like that like. No disrespect to Milwaukee, great place I’m sure … Jeff Dahmer’s from there, but you get my point. As far as blackouts, you can’t plan a blackout … they just happen some nights … so yes there is always some possibility of time traveling on tour.
Are all three of you gainfully employed?

Two out of three of us have jobs. Demonbitch and I work as tray wipers at Wendy’s. He’s in charge of the yellow trays and I’m in charge of the brown ones.

What does Shitfucker think of the modern metal scene?

Modern metal? Like Korn and Slipknot and stuff like that? Disturbed? Is that what magazine this is? The one with Golden God awards? Sorry…I don’t know much about modern metal.
What’s the ideal scenario to listen to your album Suck Cocks In Hell?

It’s a good choice for a night of auto-erotic asphyxiation. Tie a belt around your neck and then the door and jack off throughout the record and when you get to the outro stab yourself in the stomach just as you cum and then shoot blood and gism all over your turntable so when the cops show up they’ll find the record still playing, covered in bloody semen, the shiswastifa spinning away! Let the law and your family know what kind of sick shit you’re into. Let them see what Shitfucker has done to you.

Is Suck Cocks In Hell a great choice for a date night?

A date rape night maybe.

Do you subscribe to Decibel?

No. I’m not into modern metal.
Have you ever snorted ants like Ozzy on Mötley Crüe’s tour bus?

No, but I’ve smoked a joint on Electric Wizard’s.
The play on the Swastika (the band’s logo) earned you a banned album cover in Germany and some criticism in the States. What would you say to the people who don’t like it?

I would first say “Hey, you like Motorhead?” and they would invariably say yes cause hey, who doesn’t like Motorhead? And then I would remind them of the swastika that was originally in the famous warthog design that appears in the spikes on its helmet on the original cover of their first album.Then I’d say why don’t you go tell Lemmy that “using Third Reich imagery is never cool?” Of course people don’t fucking care if it’s Motorhead … this sort of hypocrisy has replayed over and over in metal with tons of bands so really who fucking cares? Everybody will interpret our imagery in their own way and that is totally acceptable. But you gotta be pretty fucking stupid to think we’re Neo-Nazis.

Thousands of people have already viewed your “Sex Dungeon” video. Does that depress or encourage you?
Very encouraging! A lot of really, reeeaaalllyyy important people have said a lot of really nice things about it so far. A lot of “industry” types seem to really be re-tweeting it. We’ve gotten so many compliments on our acting alone. It’s just been a dream come true.

Have you ever actually participated in a real scenario like the one depicted in your video?

Yes. I actually cut off Demonbitch’s head and fucked it.
Why are you guys always getting naked?

What? We’re not always getting naked. Taking your cock out of your pants isn’t getting naked. I guess Demonbitch gets naked sometimes. It’s shocking and we find it funny to see square reactions to it. It pisses people off. Plus it looks cool not to wear a lot of clothes. It’s wild and free … the spirit of heavy metal! Why did Quorthon wear a loin cloth? Why did Wendy O. show her tits? Why does Gezol wear a thong?
Were you bummed that your album wasn’t on more “best of 2013” lists?

Yes. I thought this would be the year we took home a Grammy and a Golden God award.
What’s your favorite male hygiene product?
Razor blade. You can shave your head into a mohawk, trim your beard into a mustache, cut up a line of coke, slit your wrists with it or use it for the cover of a metal record. It is the most relevant product to our interests.

If Deafheaven asked you to tour would you join the bill?

I honestly don’t know what that is? Their name sounds like a nu-metal band. Do they have a DJ who wears a Burzum shirt?
Would you ever do a pink album cover?

Why don’t we put a rainbow on the cover while we’re at it? You may think we’re faggots but I guarantee you a lot of the pink we wear is pussy. Women all over the world have sucked us. I ain’t nobody’s bitch son. I’m a fucking black leather Master … gonna make you my slave.
Would you commit hari-kari if someone confused you with a hipster?

Haha…no. But I think we are far too fucking ugly, filthy and lecherous for anyone to ever say that about us.