“I’LL TAKE QUOTABLE NOTABLES FOR $300, ALEX.”

Between the variety of magazines, websites and projects that currently leave me little time for much else in life outside of writing for the variety of magazines, websites and projects I have on the go, I do a fuck of a lot of interviews. Sometimes, you’ll find me writing about the same band/person in multiple publications. If you happen to be paying attention, that is, though I assume you’re not. Most of the time, however, because of word counts, subject matter and whatnot, some of the gems that tumble out of people’s mouths never go any further than the Bermuda Triangle between my interview subject’s lips, my ears and my Dictaphone. So, I’ve decided to introduce a new (hopefully regular) feature here on the blog in which I’ll impart upon you a few out-of-context quotes that couldn’t make the final cut, but are too hilarious/brilliant/dumb/amazing/revealing/etc to not at least be read once before they’re forgotten. Warning! Shock, horror alert!: because I also write for magazines that don’t have anything to do with metal, some of the following may have a low metal content.
Grace Perry (Landmine Marathon)

“As a woman, I’m proud to be a woman. I love being a woman and I’m glad I’m not a dude!”

“[My band mates] look at me as a dude; they look at me like their crappy little brother.”

“When I first started singing for Landmine, I’d encounter a girl in a band once in a while and very rarely. And because I’d be so excited to see another woman out there [on the road], I’d probably creep them out and they’d probably thought I was hitting on them,”

“I am a very typical white girl. I have no rhythm at all. I am Elaine from Seinfeld.”

www.landminemarathon.blogspot.com

Brendan Murphy (Counterparts)
On signing to and dealing with Victory Records’, ahem, notorious financial treatment of their bands:
“We had a few offers and most of them weren’t very good. We talked to some people about Victory and the bands that are like the size we are didn’t really have much bad to say. So we figured that pretty much any label that we sign to is going to fuck us around, so we might as well go with the label that will give us the most after fucking us around.”

“I know there’s some sort of legal battle between Victory and A Day to Remember over something like $75,000 in back royalties or something. We have nothing to worry about; our band will never make that amount of money. That would be the equivalent of coming up to us and not giving us $200 – ‘umm, we need that to get to the next show. Can we please have that back?’”

“I don’t think it would be intelligent for Victory to try and take money from us because we make like $300 a night and we’d know if you fucked with $200 of it.”

www.facebook.com/counterpartshc

Crispin Gray and Nomi Leonard (the Dogbones)
“I actually met one of our drummers by writing “drummer wanted” on the back of my jacket. That’s how I met him. It worked as it was quite a bit of good advertising and I actually recommend that because people can actually see what you look like. If they’re like, ‘Oh God, I don’t want to have anything to do with someone who looks like that,’ then they won’t bother approaching you.” (Gray)

KSP: Your bio reads that the Dogbones are “quickly gaining the reputation of being one of the most sonically dangerous, visually provocative, and beguilingly inimitable bands on today’s live circuit. What have you done to warrant this belief?
Gray: Really? It says that? Why would they say that on there?
Leonard: I don’t know, maybe because we’re not boring?

Woody Weatherman (Corrosion of Conformity)
“I actually forgot you were interviewing me today. I was driving my tractor and pulling some hay around the farm when I came into the house and phone was ringing off the hook!”

www.coc.com

Mirai Kawashima (Sigh)
“I never try to have Sigh sound Japanese, musically. But still, as I live in Japan and speak Japanese, which is a completely different language from English or other western languages, I think it’s impossible to avoid Japanese influence. What is strange to me, though, is that there are so many Japanese bands that sound exactly like, for example, Swedish death metal or Norwegian black metal bands or whatever. Those bands practice a lot and try much harder than we do to sound like western bands. If you’re Japanese and live in Japanese culture, then spontaneously, you should sound different from the west. It’s very strange, but in Japan it’s a compliment for someone to say, ‘You don’t sound like a Japanese band.’ It’s totally stupid.”

www.myspace.com/sighjapan