Terrible Heavy Metal Halloween Costumes

The Sammy Hagar outfit encourages manscaping.
I thought I’d get a head start on my Halloweening this weekend, so I began looking around the web for costume ideas. That, coupled with pumpkin beers and the Misfits discography, led me to seek out what America thinks qualifies as a heavy metal costume. The Dallas Costume Shop had more ridiculous, cheesy outfits than you could shake a broom at. It even has a heavy metal category. In case you’re in need of some inspiration for your own costume, do yourself a favor and look elsewhere. Otherwise, here’s how to look like a massive tool come October 31st.

Slash—for the person who wants to put as little effort into Halloween as possible.

The David Lee Roth track star costume comes in size extra-douche.

That hot tranny mess is supposed to be Dee Snider.

Fat Ozzy is a big seller.