Thanks to MTV, the words Jersey Shore have become synonymous with glistening douchetards, making plenty of us Jersey natives extremely upset at the portrayal of our seaside haven. So it was a sight for sore eyes when I saw this most excellent of men’s swimsuits while strolling the Asbury Park boardwalk this past weekend. It literally stopped me in my tracks and reminded me that the boardwalk is a place where people from all walks of life come to strut their goods for the onlookers. A breakdown of the suit’s awesomeness:
1. It was painstakingly handcrafted from a real Reinventing the Steel T-shirt.
2. A very squat-looking Vinnie Paul is located directly on your pooper. Hell yeah, indeed!
3. Phil’s right arm is punching you in the ass crack.
Top 5 Metal Dudes I Want to See Model This:
1. Damien from Fucked-Up
2. Albert, Decibel honcho
4. Lips from Anvil
5. Phil Anselmo (best promo shot ever)
Who else needs one of these in their wardrobe? Go to www.lowtee.com to see all of brilliant designer Philip Heckman’s bathing suit options. NSFW if you happen to work for homophobic bigots, or if you yourself are a homophobic bigot.