File this one under: shit that demands your inebriated attention. Come May 6, this movie is guaranteed to incite much forehead-smacking from Viking enthusiasts. We can already hear the cries of Norse nerds (“His hair isn’t even red! Everyone knows Thor’s hair is red!” etc. and so forth) over false representation of the folkloric badass. In the Hollywood version of the Marvel comic (itself a version of the Scandinavian myth and basis for all awesome Viking metal) Thor (Chris Hemsworth) gets cast out of Asgard and is dropped in the middle of Bumblefuck Farm Town U.S.A., where, coincidentally, the wildly overrated Natalie Portman fixes her doe eyes on his strapping manhood. We learn Thor likes Pop Tarts and coffee. He gets tazed. He gets Facebook’d. Then some bad shit happens and Thor is relegated to saving our human asses with his hammer, which looks like busted lunchbox on a short pole (way to go, props department). After the jump, Odin (Anthony Hopkins) counsels his son on some of the most hilarious costuming in recent memory, and the number-one reason we’ll force ourselves to endure this movie.
But perhaps the best reason to see this movie is for the return of screen fox Rene Russo.