Fuck Tha (Armenian) Police

A sequel to Lords of Chaos this surely ain’t: According to a recent AFP article (which reads more like one of John Darnielle’s “South Pole Dispatch” satires than a legit news story), Armenian police have began cracking down on “emo” rock fans:

Officers have visited schools, searched pupils whose distinctive clothing marks them out as possible ’emos’, and mounted surveillance on public places where young people gather. Several fans have been detained for questioning, despite the lack of any specific legislation against the musical genre or its followers.

In a recent newspaper interview, Armenia’s Chief of Police, Alik Sarkisian, claimed that emo could “damage our gene pool”. “We should fight against such phenomena because they are morally harmful to our people,” he said…

Masha and her friend Ani, also 13, say they started dressing in the unconventional emo style in an attempt to stand out from what they call “the grey masses”. But they now feel that they have to disguise themselves in ordinary clothes for fear of detention or harassment by other youths. “They point and laugh at us. Or even worse, they sometimes beat up our boys,” Ani said.

A few thoughts: First of all…Dudes, pick on someone your own size! Seriously, Norway at least confronted chainmail wearing church-burners. You’re raiding the home of a 13 year-old girl named Ani?! Pussies! Two…”damage our gene pool” is a pretty fucking unfortunate choice of words coming from the authorities of a people still petitioning the world community to recognize the 1915 genocide. Third, police do not need an elaborate surveillance regime to keep track of emo kids. Just have one cop set up a Facebook account, plaster it with sad face emoticons, and watch the friend requests roll in! And, finally…Dear Armenian emo fans, I am so sorry police are forcing you underground or into the grey masses or however you prefer it. On the bright side, however, this terrible injustice may help you avoid a slew of tragic yearbook photos and your budding young men will almost certainly be ultimately better served by a few beatings than by shoehorning themselves into their sister’s skinny jeans.

But that’s just some bullshit hindsight life advice from an formerly skinny misfit who wore a Skid Row “Piece of Me” T-shirt throughout most of 1989 and was easy target practice for every goddamn bully in his trailer park. Don’t doubt my solidarity is with you!