The Definitive ‘Lulu’ Review

By: shane.mehling Posted in: The Decibel Study Hall of Fame, featured, stupid crap On: Wednesday, October 26th, 2011

loutallica

I’m not usually someone to post a jokey video in place of a verbose, self-important rant against something inconsequential, but this is different.

When some future civilization unearths the only iPod to ever contain the entire 90 minutes of Lulu, they will be as baffled and speechless as we are today. No one, I doubt even Metallica or Lou Reed themselves, can wrap their heads around this album enough to truly critique it.

Of course there will be bold attempts and some people may even find themselves vaguely within the proximity of comprehending the true existence of this record, what it means in both a musical and an artistic sense.

But while I could bore or anger you with my own take, trying to enunciate the real spirit and drive of this album, the clip up above describes Lulu perfectly: Some senile old man ranting about nonsense over a shitty metal riff.

  • Bwpendleton

    Despite how funny this is, it is completely true that this album sounds like Gramps Simpson singing over Metallica riffage. What the fuck, guys? What. The. Fuck.

  • Eric

    that about sums it up. i would get Violent if i actually paid for it. I called it the worst album I ever heard in my blog. EVER!!!   Lou Reed is just terrible to begin with and to put him talking old man non-sense over weak half-Ass metal throw away riffs is an insult to all metallica fans.

  • Steverazorberry

    “We couldn’t get white onions because of the War. All they had were the BIG yellow ones.”

  • Poo Reed

    It’s bad: all-time, Hall Of Fame bad. I actually listened to the whole thing and laughed out loud many times while doing so. Metallica has now released TWO of the most bafflingly terrible albums of all time. It’s a sorry, sorry display of pretentious “artsy” aspirations coupled with dull, flaccid, unimaginative music by a dead band.

  • Anonymous

    I am sorry to say this and perhaps I don’t even fit the target; being all but a Metallica fan. But I actually like this record. I have most Lou Reed albums and most Metallica ditto and not really a fan of either. That said I do consider this album among the better from both. Lou Reed’s done better as have Metallica but I am pretty sure I will listen to this one more than anything else from both parties. The thing is that this album, shitty riffs and weird vocals or not, resonates with me. Everything else is just technicalities and about those I really cannot be bothered. 

    p.s. I even like Velvet Underground :-) .
    p.p.s. I also like Simpsons…

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002220565029 Mike Cunningham

    so true

  • Christoff

     St. Anger was an insult to all metal/metallica fans.  Lulu is nothing unexpected.

  • rd2

    are these guys and morbid angel competing to see who can destroy their career’s first? this makes me long for the days of load,wasn’t metal but was listenable.

  • Snowman

    The only thing Metallica haven’t done to their fanbase yet is squat and drop a brick into their mouths…

    That being said, Rock N’ Roll Animal is the SHIT.

blog comments powered by Disqus