Switzerland’s Ølten has one of the most entertaining bios I’ve come across in a long time. They obviously don’t need a hack like me to help, so let’s nab a couple of zingers from their various profiles on various online portals:

It’s springtime, and this means the fish are biting! If you’re an avid fisherman or fly fisher, you’re already out and have been catching fish. If you’ve never been, it’s never too late to start.

This afternoon, we continue making our own lives that much more difficult with the ongoing practice of ranking the songs that comprise some of the greatest albums of all time; albums previously inducted into our untouchable Hall of Fame. Today we explore Life of Agony’s classic debut River Runs Red (originally inducted way back in issue #7, which you can buy here).

Doom may not be “stimulating” in the same ways as say grindcore, but that doesn’t mean the former is any less adept at meeting the definition than the latter–they just succeed in different ways.  Take Monolord.  The trio’s tunes may not never be classified as anything close to pharmaceutical grade amphetamines, but they’re nevertheless replete with riffs that rouse and get the blood pumping.  On the topic of stimulants, the Swedes decided to base their playlist around one of the more mild–and most popular–ones:  coffee.

One of the most intriguing post-hardcore bands to emerge in the 90s was Craw. However, their first three records — considered by many to be American underground classics — have been out of print for more than a decade.

Miami four-piece Maruta are back together after a (thankfully) brief two-year time-out. They clearly did not come back to start sucking.

Ever since 2006, each year end issue has included, alongside the customary list of the year’s best albums for you to argue about and call us out on, a collection of Top 5’s ranging from the silly to the (somewhat) serious to the even more silly. 

Bummer break-up news: German black metal institution Bethlehem are calling it quits… kind of. 

It only makes sense that a brutal death metal outfit called Dysentery would have an album called Internal Devastation. But that was four years ago. 

Hey, you got your Sabbath-y math rock in my Neurosis-esque epic doom-sludge!

Well, you got your Neurosis-esque epic doom-sludge in my Sabbath-y math rock!

Shades of the infamous walkman crash Reeses Peanut Butter Cups commercial of the 1980s, this is how I imagine the first encounter between members of The Ditch and the Delta must have gone down.