Flesh Parade – Heavy Metal Tattoo Reviews – Slayer Ass

By: frank.lemke Posted in: featured, uncategorized On: Thursday, October 6th, 2011

SLAYER_ASS

Ha! I’ve finally received a heavy metal tattoo for critical analysis! This week’s installment of Flesh Parade comes from Josh over at the LunchMeat VHS fanzine.

Josh says that he got this tattoo after a night of heavy drinking. Drunk points? Check.

Josh continues, “It was decided that my buddy, who was the piercer of the shop, and had never tattooed ANYONE before, should be the one to ink it.” Nihilism points? Check.

“It was extra ridiculous because he had just broken his arm a week earlier because he was on acid and he thought he was Spiderman and fell off a roof.” Now you’re pushing it, buddy. Definite points deduction.

The tattoo looks like someone wrote in lipstick on a butt cheek. Positive points awarded.

Then another deduction for the boyish, hairless ass. When I get my ass tattoo, it will have an afro.

Finally, many points are awarded for having anything tattooed on your ass, and then that number is doubled because it’s a Slayer tattoo.

Had there been a misspelling, or had this been a cock tattoo, I could have given it a perfect score.

As is, Josh scores a 10 of 10 for that wonderful piece of assmeat. (A perfect score is an 11.)

…And as an excuse to whip your ass out at every party for the rest of your life – it’s priceless.

And if you dig VHS tapes and horror, then you should definitely start digging the LunchMeat fanzine. It’s got movie reviews and insider information. It’s got old school horror and hot babes slicing themselves open. All for your classic VCR! Fuck Betamax and fuck DVD. Issue 6 is coming out soon!

And hey! If you’ve got something to plug, send your ink and info to roast_man@hotmail.com, and your ink will be in Flesh Parade! Bite And Get In It!

  • HATE

    Awesome!  I have my first cassette tattooed on my arm (Slayer/Misfits dubbed cassette) next to a volume knob turned up to 11.  The best part is that it’s done in Trapper Keeper influenced artwork.