Ministry
Cover Up
13th Planet
Your leg is wet, but it's not raining
Completely awful. Uninspired. Insulting. Join me as we run through a myriad of adjectives to describe the unforgivable mess that is Ministry’s cover record.
At first I thought I was going to hear bands covering “Just One Fix” or “Jesus Built My Hotrod.” Oh, how foolish. Instead this is Al Jourgensen and some has-beens (poor Tommy Victor) throwing down some of the most deplorable covers ever laid to tape. Do you like “Under My Thumb” by the Stones? Well, after hearing the metallic techno version with Fear Factory’s Burton C. Bell hacking up the chorus, you’ll wish Keith Richards overdosed decades ago. And speaking of overdoses, remember when Ministry records were about junkies and not radar love or banging a gong? I can safely say this record will offend almost everyone.
The only bonuses are the versions of Dylan’s “Lay Lady Lay” and Sabbath’s “Supernaut.” Fortunately, those are already on records where I don’t have to skip through “Mississippi Queen” to hear them. If you like the original songs, these sloppy butcherings will infuriate you. I doubt even diehard Ministry fans could tolerate this schlocky waste. I feel bad not only for the diehards, but the engineer, the PR company and the guy who did the cover art. They’ve all been suckered by Jourgensen’s insane idea that anyone in the entire world would ever choose to submit their ears to Cover Up, the dumbest shit recorded in the new millennium. —Shane Mehling
