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Angel Blake
The Descended
Dynamic Arts
Snoraphim
This is the most boring music review ever written. It was written by a bored man looking out a boring window at boring trees in a boring little room. Hey, Lost is on tonight! I feel better already. Oh, right, Angel Blake. Formerly of Swedish melodic death/thrash band the Crown… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Whoops, sorry. Danzig songs that would have made a better band name than Angel Blake: Killer Wolf, Snakes of Christ, Sadistikal, Son(s) of the Morning Star, Serpentia, Firemass, Naked Witch, Liberskull, Halo Goddess Bone, Twist of Cain and Hellmask. A guy named Stench from France (no jokes please!) just sent me the last Zatokrev album in the mail. I hadn’t heard it. Stench is the second guitarist in Zatokrev. I love Zatokrev. Thanks, Stench!
Angel Blake’s Marko Tervonen on new Angel Blake singer Tobias Jansson: “Tobias has a very ‘in your face’ vocal style that shares the honesty of singers like Eddie Vedder…” I know one thing: Eddie and Tobias both “honestly” need a laxative. You know what I’m saying? I think you do. You and I are a lot alike when you get right down to it. I feel you deep inside of me. You are my kind of people. And, dudes, seriously check out the last Zatokrev album! Bury the Ashes. It barely came out here in the U.S. last year. They really need to sign a deal with a U.S. metal label. When you think of half the bands that get deals in this country… just saying.
OK, fine, I’ll take Zatokrev off and play one more Angel Blake song. Angel Blake could best be described as poorly recorded and produced mush sandwiched between heavy riffage. Maybe you like mush. It’s a free country. Alright, here I go. Right, that’s enough. Life is short, you know? Which isn’t true at all; it’s actually really long, because I’m not dead yet and I’ve heard a TON of bad music. Months’ worth of bad music. And I have to throw Angel Blake back in the lake where Danzig left her. Let’s hope she sinks this time. —Scott Seward
