A long, long time ago, we held the opinion that not only was Canadian cellist Ofra Harnoy a prodigious talent, but also a super-hot piece of ass, to put it respectfully. That was, however, until she opened her yap during an early ’90s television interview. After being asked an oh-so-penetrating question about her favorite types of music outside her classical bread-and-butter, little-Miss-Perfect-Pitch-and-Order-of-Canada went into a diatribe against our beloved heavy metal, claiming it was “nothing but noise” and how she didn’t “consider it real music.” We wondered: How could someone so musically skilled and adept be so musically ignorant and vacuous? How could someone barely 10 years our senior sound so much like our grandparents? And really, how tuneless a scourge is mainstream and hair metal—to which she was referring—in the grand scheme of things? We imagined her and grindcore in the same room. Laughter quickly followed.

Ms. Harnoy may loathe to Vadmit it, but the parallels between metal and classical music are plenty: Shrapnel Records’ neo-classical shred; post-metal probably shares some undiscovered DNA strand with new age/modern classical composers Philip Glass and Steve Reich; Germany’s Rage have recorded and performed with orchestras as far back as 1996; good luck not stumbling across orchestrated counterpoint and baroque influences in the likes of Morbid Angel and Decrepit Birth, and symphonic elements in black metal. Christ, even “Sweet Child O’ Mine”’s main melody is basically a Mozart-inspired, string-skipping exercise. And, of course, there’s the Great Kat.

Some of those pushing the boundaries of music traditionally based on electric guitars and pounding drums tap classical influences when writing. Some construct parts for classical/orchestral instrumentation, duplicating them with technology’s help. The super-ambitious will eschew the samplers and synths, and voluntarily enter into the living nightmare of tracking down classical performers, organizing rehearsals, studio sessions and live shows with an additional 25-75 musicians, while attempting to prevent using their fists or forehead to bash a hole through the nearest sheet of drywall in frustration.

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