For Those About to Squawk: Waldo’s Pecks of the Week

By: andrew Posted in: a fucking parrot previewing new releases, featured On: Friday, December 2nd, 2011

waldo

Every other Friday, Waldo the African Grey Parrot, frontbird of thrash-grind immortals Hatebeak, will get you caught up on the week’s latest “extreme” releases.

Hey. As the year winds up, so do the releases; not many labels are pushing too much now. And as the releases wear thin, so do my ironic puns, and all the drier are my insults.

From the frosty wintered norths of Austrailia come PESTILENTIAL SHADOWS, obviously a black metal band given the name. Featuring ex-members of Naxzul, Depths is not a bad record; it’s just pretty standard black metal fare. Any fan of the genre would like this, but there’s not a whole lot to sink your beak into. Just your standard wailing over trem-picked guitars with some dissonance thrown in to boot. Not much here deviates from what you’d expect; it’s a little more polished than previous efforts from these guys… not as guttural or raw, but still there. This is boringly generic and leaves as many surprises to the listener as a priest in an elementary school. If you like black metal, go check this out; if not, this is also a passable introduction, albeit an entirely bland one. 6 FUCKING PECKS.

KORN are back at it with SKRILLEX (whoever the fuck that is), with a scattered-sounding release. Fuck this. 1 FUCKING PECK.

WE ALL HAVE DAY JOBS. Let’s fucking hope. Actually, who cares? Worst band name ever. 2 FUCKING PECKS.

Coming in for second worst band name this time, RABID RABBIT. Didn’t even bother listening, passed on name alone. 1 FUCKING PECK

AUSTRIAN DEATH MACHINE are releasing what I can only HOPE is a Christmas record. This makes Hatebeak look downright intelligent. Jingle All the Way. Just be thankful that this is a single and not a full release. Come the fuck on. I mean, really, this review period is just fucking insulting. 1 FUCKING PECK.

My old school peck is avant grinders DISCORDANCE AXIS: weird tape loop riffs with blastas and some of the best screams around. Dave Witte is the man.