We’re all getting old. The bands we grew up idolizing are slowing down, retired or making geriatric mockeries of themselves. And sometimes we unfairly and harshly lash out at the newest crop of musicians for not being as heavy or “tough” as we were. I was one of those young, doe-eyed metal kids once, who feared a hulking longhair would take me down in the pit with his tattooed elbow. But I ...

http://vimeo.com/37255948 Andrew Bonazelli is one of those shitheads who in school would do his homework on Friday so he had his weekend free while you were happy to sweat it out until 1st Period Monday. But that sort of ridiculous work ethic is how the man can be Decibel's managing editor, blog guru, social media bitch, probably a couple other things he's never told me about and still have ...

No, no he didn't. But some nutcase swears he did. James Vernon McVay, who rocks my favorite kind of tattoos- all faded and shitty, slashed the throat of a 75-year-old hospice nurse as the first step in his foolproof plan of driving to Washington DC to assassinate President Obama. And now after being caught he's explaining that he had to do it, you see -- because infamous cult Black Label ...

Philadelphia is a great place for birthing democracy, eating pretzels and setting up Ponzi schemes disguised as metal publications. What it’s not good for is parking. Grindcore disciples Wormrot blasted through a big chunk of the country without incident until their van disappeared in Philly. And who can be blamed? The man. The Singapore trio had their ride snatched away due to a bunch ...

Don't you wish we did one of these? Cheat Sheet ARTIST OF THE YEAR: (write-in) Bruce Willis BEST NEW ARTIST: (write-in) GWAR BEST LIVE ARTIST: (write-in) Bruce Willis MOST WELCOME RETURN: (write-in) Bruce Willis BEST RAP/R&B ARTIST: (write-in) "Rap isn't music" SEX GODDESS OF THE YEAR: (write-in) Hit Girl from Kick-Ass SEX GOD OF THE YEAR: (write-in) Bruce Willis BEST METAL BAND: ...

[caption id="attachment_1791" align="alignnone" width="560" caption="iBrutal"][/caption] I don't think I've ever personally beat up on Oceano. I've definitely attacked their chosen genre and I've lobbed bombs at many of the band's contemporaries, but the alpha and omega of deathcore has never really crossed my desk... until the iPad. See, to promote their new album, Contagion, they had a ...

I know, I know, with all the thrilling Jets shootouts going on this year, it’s hard to believe that the fourth consecutive completely pointless baseball season hasn’t ended yet. But this Saturday, Tim “Fuck Yeah” Lincecum will square off against Roy “Too Mormon to Photobomb” Halladay in Game One of the National League Championship Series. (Giants vs. Phillies, respectively, for those ...