Archive for the ‘stupid crap’ Category

Lordi: Fakest Metal Band Ever

By: Chris D. Posted in: stupid crap, videos On: Thursday, June 30th, 2011

Finnish "heavy metallers" Lordi have gone 3-times Platinum (90,000 copies sold) in their native Finland, Gold (30,000 copies sold) in Sweden, Gold in Germany (100,000 copies sold) and have probably earned sales medals throughout Europe. Pretty neat considering Lordi are nothing but a bunch of fakers. Check out this clip from 2006. The horror-masked Finns are rambling through one of their ...

Big 4: Comic Relief

By: Chris D. Posted in: featured, stupid crap On: Tuesday, June 28th, 2011

lars_ulrich

If you're a Decibel subscriber, issue #82 [Scott Ian cartoon cover] should be arriving via angry postman shortly. In this month's cover, longtime dude's dude Nick Green detailed in fantastic fashion the link between comics and extreme music. With a (spoiler alert!) fold-out cover illustrator by Henry and Glenn inklord Tom Neely, issue #82 boldly went where no publication of our variety has gone ...

Stupid Shit: The Motion Picture

By: andrew Posted in: featured, stupid crap On: Tuesday, June 28th, 2011

7399261_O-Pioneers

You may have seen this on MetalSucks earlier in the week, but it's too rad not to repost. Waterloo Records in Austin, home of Snore by Snorewest, got four dudes from the esteemed Tombs and Kill the Client to play the time-honored game of "What the Fuck Does Your Stupid Band Logo Actually Say?" (MS play it every week under the more tactful guise of "Completely Unreadable Band Logo of the Week.") ...

Black Metal 1969

By: Chris D. Posted in: featured, listen, stupid crap On: Friday, June 24th, 2011

Cromagnon+2001+INSIDE+COVER

Some say the first wave of black metal started in England. We happen to be of the opinion -- a silly one, mind you -- that the first wave of black metal started, at least sonically, in America in 1969, with the release of New York-based Cromagnon's sole album, Orgasm. We're not the first ones to point out that Cromagnon may be the first black metal band ever, but we might just be the most ...

5 Things Musicians Need To Understand To “Succeed”

By: Chris D. Posted in: featured, stupid crap On: Thursday, June 23rd, 2011

execute-a-contract-2

5. MANAGERS: Self-managing a band is a load of work. Arch Enemy does it, actually. But unless you have a few A-types who actually know how things work, it’s probably a good idea to get a manager. Again, someone you can trust. Someone with a sterling reputation. Someone who manages other bands in good standing. Someone who is willing to be transparent in all business dealings. If your manager ...

The Metal Detektor

By: Chris D. Posted in: featured, stupid crap On: Monday, June 20th, 2011

metaldetektor

It takes too long to go through every online distro, e-store, virtual shop to find the best prices on the latest...uh, precious metal titles. Want the new Arch Enemy Khaos Legions for less than $10? Try Amazon. Or Century Media's CM Distro. Want the new Morbid Angel wooden box set for less than three Bens? Try Amazon. Or the sale section at Season Of Mist's online shop. But searching for metal ...

Seth Putnam: Rest In ???

By: shane.mehling Posted in: featured, stupid crap On: Wednesday, June 15th, 2011

Seth_with_AxCx_at_Relapse_Festival_1993_crop

It's said that the opposite of love isn't hate but indifference. And that has been the most common sentiment I've heard since the passing of Seth Putnam, singer of Anal Cunt and the man who called the world gay. Of course for his detractors, what else can you do? To actually celebrate his death would be to play into the game he started at least twenty years ago when loving the Holocaust and ...

Norway Makes – The World Takes

By: Chris D. Posted in: featured, stupid crap On: Tuesday, June 14th, 2011

True Norwegian Black Metal_cuthalf

In the ‘90s, the antics of Varg Vikernes and several others pushed black metal into an unwelcome, possibly unintended spotlight (though one can argue razing Stave churches was an attention-garnering move). But black metal, from a Norwegian perspective, is no longer musica non grata. Having witnessed in person Dimmu Borgir’s NRK-funded and sponsored (effectively the Norwegian Broadcasting ...

Iron Maiden vs. Metallica: The Battle Has Begun

By: shane.mehling Posted in: featured, stupid crap On: Thursday, June 9th, 2011

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Well, I don’t even know where to start with this one. Licensed pilot Bruce Dickinson has stated that Maiden is unequivocally better than Metallica. He is not in a position to walk the statement back and we doubt Mr. Balls to Picasso would have any intention no matter what. So is he right? Well… Many people will say right away that there’s no comparison. While both bands are “metal” ...

REVIEW: Morbid Angel “Illud Divinum Insanus”

By: Chris D. Posted in: featured, stupid crap On: Thursday, June 9th, 2011

killacopcop

Opinions on Illud Divinum Insanus have gone from applauded to appalling. Mostly appalling. Check out the 35 (and growing) reviews on Amazon. Thus quoteth some Amazon reviewers: "a Spinal Tap level embarrassment", "Inexcusable", "An eight year wait for an absolute train wreck", "How the mighty have fallen!", and (my favorite) "It's not completly [sic] terrible... just mostly". Just mostly? Yes. I ...