Archive for the ‘stupid crap’ Category

New Marilyn Manson = “Suicide Death Metal”

By: Chris D. Posted in: featured, stupid crap On: Thursday, May 5th, 2011

Braian-warner-Marilyn-Manson

So, listening to the new Morbid Angel album got me thinking of Florida shock rock outfit Marilyn Manson. Don’t ask me why. You’ll understand on June 7th, 2011. Anyway, it was the first time I thought of Brian Hugh Warner and his band of post-apocalyptic gothic-industrial goons since, well, Mechanical Animals was the highest selling rock album (of the year) at the record store I worked at in ...

Thoughts on Metal Vs. Work…

By: shane.mehling Posted in: featured, stupid crap On: Wednesday, May 4th, 2011

Tribal_Tattoo

After seeing this post on the Shreddit section of Reddit (where I steal much of my material), I wanted to ask the very few people who comment on here to offer their own opinions. Where do you draw the line when it comes to working for the man and maintaining your heavy metal lifestyle? Starting a new job recently in a “professional” environment has been a bit of an annoying endeavor as I had ...

Heavy Classically: One And The Same

By: Chris D. Posted in: stupid crap On: Friday, April 22nd, 2011

The disconnect between classical music (all types) and heavy metal (all types) is probably less to do with musical form (although blues-based heavy metal is obviously divergent) than class. See, people into classical music are largely of a different economic, educational, and social background from dudes who headbang and play air guitar to "Fucked with a Knife" or "Aerials". Of course, the former ...

Rock to Bach

By: shane.mehling Posted in: stupid crap On: Wednesday, April 20th, 2011

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLesGMA0-rM You ever heard "Piano Metal"? No? Well it fucking sucks. Pornogrind would top my list of most inexplicable metal genres if it wasn't for Germany. Folks over there continue to create "extreme" music that's like some sort of aural Punk'd, where halfway through the song you're sure someone's videotaping your reaction behind two-way glass. Remember ...

Unvested In Vests

By: Chris D. Posted in: featured, gnarly one-offs, stupid crap On: Friday, April 15th, 2011

vest1

OK, I’ve never owned a vest. Not sure why. When I was young, I remember older kids around the neighborhood (we’re talking Flint, Michigan here) would sport denim vests proudly over the top of name-a-‘80s-metal-band-or-cola-here t-shirt. It was their uniform. Even in mid-August, they’d walk around in their denim vests (hair picks in the back pocket were also de facto equipment) like owned ...

Plop Culture Dump O The Day: Chicks With Steve Buscemi Eyes

By: jeanne.fury Posted in: pic of the day, stupid crap On: Monday, April 11th, 2011

beyonce

Happy Monday everybody. To make it suck a little less, we present you with a Tumblr site that's actually worth your time. Chicks With Steve Buscemi Eyes, chickswithstevebuscemeyes.tumblr.com, is one of those things that should have existed from the very beginning of the internet. Google, eBay, and Chicks With Steve Buscemi Eyes—they're on the same level of importance to daily life. Unlike other ...

Trend Report: Tea Is The New Mead

By: jeanne.fury Posted in: stupid crap, videos On: Monday, March 21st, 2011

In the canon of manly (or womanly, thank you very much) things, three drinks reign supreme: beer, whiskey, and coffee. Or so we've been told. Wanna really and truly send a rush of blood to your bits? Drink some fuckin' tea. I've been saying for years that tea is the most bitchin' beverage, but it's taken the brilliant minds over at UCB Comedy to hammer the message home. FUCKIN TEA is where ...

Graf Orlock Steadicam Reviews: Battle: Los Angeles

By: andrew Posted in: featured, steadicam, stupid crap On: Wednesday, March 16th, 2011

fuck LA

Opinions are like assholes: everyone IS one. We've noticed that they tend to spend a lot of time in Hollywood, chortling while you spend perfectly good alcohol/meth/falafel money on the anal fissures of their "imagination." Justin Smith of cinema-grind moguls Graf Orlock will occasionally plumb the depths in Graf Orlock Steadicam Reviews. Hollywood has had years to perfect their ...

Bring Me the Head Of…

By: Shawn Macomber Posted in: stupid crap On: Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

So, alright, the G.G. Allin "throbblehead" was cool. But maybe after a month or two making the plastic punker nod approvingly every time you, say, shit on the kitchen floor and threw it at your dad or punched some mouthy little tart in the mouth got a little old. The options seem so limited. And now you're looking for a more all-encompassing way to be vicariously hated. Well, Sikrik Masks has ...

Plop Culture Dumps o’ the Day: Taylor Momsen, Tom Cruise

By: jeanne.fury Posted in: pic of the day, stupid crap On: Monday, February 28th, 2011

spl252629_002

Perhaps Dlisted.com said it best with the headline And Satan Just Became Celibate. Taylor Momsen, she of The Grinch that Stole Christmas, Gossip Girl, and The Pretty Reckless, um, fame, performed over the weekend in Toronto in an I Fuck For Satan shirt. We're pretty sure Satan doesn't want anything to do with Little Miss Momsen's 17-year-old jailbait ass. In fact, we're willing to bet even ...