Wow, there’s not a lot that’s good this week, but there CERTAINLY is enough for me to spray my birdshit all over. Let’s start out with the boobalicious Jill Janus, and her band HUNTRESS. This former DJ Tuesdae isn’t afraid of using her body to get a little attention for her band. This is pretty standard heavy metal fare: not horrible, not so good either. It’s been done to ...

Cough, cough, happy 4/20. Hopefully you’re not smoking seeds like I am. Let’s get into it so you can get into other “recreational activities.” TORCHE release Harmonicraft, and this thing pecking kicks ass! Heavy rock riffage, with (gasp) a healthy dose of melody. This record should beaking turn the rock world on its boring tin ear. Gone mostly are the sludgy/doom passages, replaced ...

What the squawk? This spring looks pretty barren. Not a whole lot going on at this time. But we’ll plow through it anyway. Fuck the Easter Bunny; let’s make it the Easter Parrot. We’ll start off with The Fatal Feast by Richmond thrash stalwarts MUNICIPAL WASTE. This is vaguely some sort of concept record of the band being in space, but not entirely. Songs don’t entirely follow the ...

What’s up, beak freaks? Here’s all the hate that’s fit to spew. MESHUGGAH release Koloss, and although a lot of peeps seem to like this band, I could never really seem to sink my beak into them. That said, fans of this band will not be disappointed. You know the deal: overcompressed tech guitars play in unknown time signatures with some brutal heaviness. This isn’t my thing really, so ...

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What’s up, mothersquawkers? Let’s get it the peck on. Deep, minimalistic, black, doomy and cold. You like where this is going? This is a great way to describe Omens by the French band MONARCH! Fuzzy guitars, pounding drums and haunted vocals are the norm here for these doomsters. This thing is beaking DENSE, like a slow pummeling, until you get a brief ambient/noise interlude with a blast ...

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Every other Friday, Waldo the African Grey Parrot, frontbird of thrash-grind immortals Hatebeak, will get you caught up on the week’s latest “extreme” releases. Holy reissues, Batman! Wow, just like the end of the year, the beginning doesn’t hold that much, but there are some reissue type things that’ll be a good peck for you, so I’ll list some and let you check ‘em out for ...

Every other Friday, Waldo the African Grey Parrot, frontbird of thrash-grind immortals Hatebeak, will get you caught up on the week’s latest “extreme” releases. Say goodbye to Father Time and hello to Baby New Year. The releases really slow down this time of year; there’s really not much for me to pecking write about, so I’m going to go over some highlights of 2011 briefly, ...

Wow, the end of a year, huh? New beginnings, resolutions and, well, hopefully some good metal releases coming in the next year. The release schedule is drier than Betty White’s cooch right now, so since I don’t have too much to peck about, I’m basically going to trash Metallica in this column. I know it’s not too topical, but what the fuck, I get paid by the word. LULU: Have you ...