INTERVIEW: Jason “Venien” Ventura of VON on blood, Satan, and being unconsciously black metal

By: jonathan.horsley Posted in: featured, interviews On: Monday, January 14th, 2013

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Even though VON have been kicking around since ’87, are pretty much responsible for Watain’s existence (their name, at least), they only managed to get their shit together and release debut LP, Satanic Blood, in October of last year.

There are mitigating circumstances and all, what with the band splitting and going into what appeared to be an indefinite hiatus between 1992 and 2010. But still, 25 years is long time. Before Satanic Blood‘s release, VON’s recorded output was available only on lo-fi demos and bootlegs; enough for the band’s name to grow in legend but more a half-realized vision than something that is fully representative of what VON are/were all about. As Satanic Blood was about to be released, finally, officially, we caught up with the Jason “Venien” Ventura, to find out what’s changed behind the scenes in America’s first black metal band.

When you approached the release of Satanic Blood, did you want to rearrange it or did you want to keep the songs as they were?
Venien:
“All the material that everybody knows of as far as VON is concerned, from 1987 ‘til now, was all recorded as demos or as works-in-progress, cassette tapes and whatnot, and now at this point I re-recorded all the old material that was never recorded properly. All the tones and all the set-up, as far as what the songs sound like, was all from the original material; there were really no new arrangements or anything that changes the material from when VON started. Everything that you heard on the Satanic Blood album is from all the works from the incubation period, the first years of VON, and all the stuff you know of was demo material; those were not proper albums, so now you’ve got proper recordings of all that material as a proper album.”

How has VON changed for you as a creative outlet—does the material still have the same emotional pay-off for you as it did when you were a kid?
Venien:
“When I started VON in ’87, there was a lot of energy, a lot of life injected into the music, rage, just pure aggression; I’ve never changed, I still have all that. I’m 41 years old. I still have all the original stuff inside me, all the dark aspects of it, feelings and belief, and it’s all reflected in the new album, the final album . . . It’s all still there; nothing’s really changed as far as I am concerned.”

Rami Jämsä (Convulse) interviewed

By: Chris D. Posted in: featured, interviews On: Monday, January 14th, 2013

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What prompted you to return to Convulse? It’s been a very long time.
Rami Jämsä: My old pal from Nokia asked [us] to play in his Heavy Metal festival 2012. At first I refused. Then original bass player Juha took contact and showed his interest. Pretty soon it was clear that there was no chance to get more original members. So, I asked my old band friend Rolle (played together from 1998) and my friend Kristian to join Convulse. We thought that we play one show only, but soon we noticed how tight we play together and everything was easy. We were also enough motivated to compose new material. So the question is why not?

Wait, so how did Juha return to the lineup?
Rami Jämsä: Juha heard that I said no for the first proposal to reunite Convulse. He called me and showed his interest. It was enough for me. We rehearsed couple of times with original second guitarist Toni, but he wasn’t involved enough. So I asked younger guitarist Kristian to join Convulse. He was playing in another band in the same rehearsal place. I have played together with the drummer Rolle since 1998 in various bands, so I surely knew how capable drummer he is and we play well together. Quite natural choice.

What did you guys do in the years between Convulse’s demise and the reformation?
Rami Jämsä: Studies, work, family, bands and so on…

Convulse is obviously recognized in the underground for World Without God, but I think the Lost Equilibrium and Reflections were ahead of their time. What do you recall about the transition into Lost Equilibrium and Reflections?
Rami Jämsä: I still prefer WWG. It’s simply a better album than Reflections. Of course, it is hard to compare them, so different they are. WWG is dark, brutal, violent and Reflections is hmmmm…groovy without groove. Reflections was ambitious effort to set Convulse musically to the next level. The effort was good, but the result was not so brilliant. We were so young and [our] heads full of different influences, so it was pretty obvious to try something different. New songs (after WWG) sounded pretty good in rehearsal, but the Sunlight studio production was far too sterile. We didn’t have the chance to take part in the mixing sessions, so we just got the finished album after couple of months. I remember being a little bit disappointed.

Relapse re-released World Without God in 2010. What’d you think of the response? I know a lot of people really wanted a CD copy of the album before the re-issue came out.
Rami Jämsä: Relapse did good job in reissuing WWG, but the new version is too compressed for my taste, but it is obvious it was time to make CD copy also. Thrash Records promised to do it 1992! I suppose we got a lot of new fans with this reissue. It is sad we don’t have the original real reel-to-reel master tape from 1991, so Relapse did the remaster from the original un-played vinyl.

Did the two songs on Inner Evil come together easily?
Rami Jämsä: They came out very naturally. I just took my guitar and started to make new Convulse riffs. I played them in rehearsals and we arranged them with the band. I am very satisfied with the skills of this band. It makes the songwriting faster and simpler. By the way we record new versions of the songs in every rehearsals and make new arrangements until it is ready. Sometimes it takes only one rehearsal and the body of the song is ready. Sometimes it takes two months to finish the song.

Were you more inspired by the past or did you check out what was happening in the current underground scene?
Rami Jämsä: I am quite unaware about the scene nowadays. I am listening to mostly old-school death metal from the ’80-’90s and the releases of the old bands. Of course, there are some exceptions. So, I get my influences from the past.

What do you make of classic death metal bands reforming? They’re not doing for the cash, ‘cause there ain’t much to go around.
Rami Jämsä: I have played guitar in bands for 27 years and I am enough stupid to go on. I love to play with the band. I love the play on the stage. I love to get my music released. It is enough for me.

I read you recorded the songs as a live band. Old-school style. What was that like?
Rami Jämsä: New tracks sounded so good and we had enough time to rehearse them. So, I decided to go into an analog studio and record everything like back in old days. We recorded it pretty much live. Some guitars and growls afterwards. I am very pleased with the natural sound and working in a reel-to-reel recording studio. No computers, no monitors, no pro tools, no copy-paste… Just the band, pure energy and the songs.

Were you at all tempted to use a more modern approach to recording?
Rami Jämsä: I have done couple of albums with ‘modern’ style and not so keen about it. Drummer records drums in couple of days and then sound engineer edit drum tracks couple of days. Does it make any sense in that kind of quantization? Then, you record guitars and oops…I made a mistake. Never mind, I can copy-paste it. Very handy, but I prefer playing my guitar and I just love the old technology.

What can fans expect of the upcoming Convulse full-length?
Rami Jämsä: Fresh old-school death metal. The new material is in an old-school vein like Resuscitation of Evilness demo and the WWG album. A little bit more technical, but far away from Reflections‘ rock/funk death.

You’re scheduled to perform for the first time in the US at MDF 2013. Any expectations?
Rami Jämsä: We are very anxious to play in MDF. I have got very good response from US fans. They have waited Convulse for decades. So, I have the privilege to play for them.

What will the setlist look like? Any chance for “Lost Equilibrium” or “Memories”?
Rami Jämsä: Pretty much songs from the WWG and couple of new tracks. We have played “Lost equilibrium” in rehearsals. It sounded cool, but I am not sure. It differs from the rest of the setlist. But never say never! You will see it at MDF in May.

** Convulse’s new EP, Inner Evil, is out January 25th on Svart Records. It’s available on CD and vinyl. Order direct from Svart Records HERE. If you don’t we really can’t do anything but wish you a crappy day and hope your Internet fails while streaming that new Nessa Devil clip.

For Those About to Squawk: Waldo’s Pecks of the Week

By: andrew Posted in: a fucking parrot previewing new releases, featured On: Friday, January 11th, 2013

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Well, it’s a new year, and that means not much is coming out. There’s a ton of reissues that typically are released this time of year, but really there’s just nothing. I’ll scrape some shit off of the floor of my birdcage.

The mysterious NINE COVENS are releasing On the Dawning of Light, which is a concept record based on the premise that humanity has been kept under control for too long and now are coming to the realization that… blah blah blah. These dudes (maybe women) don’t want you to know who they are, masking the public image of the band by appearing in robes and other things like that. The production here is pretty standard–the vocals in particular are pretty vitriolic and strong–but the rest is pretty regular black metal with some blackened thrash thrown in for good measure. This isn’t a bad record, and it can stand on its own, but it’s not really dangerous or threatening. Check out the track “The Mist of Death,” which is really the best outing on this otherwise forgettable journey through the human experience of blah blah blah. 3 Fucking Pecks

Old-school death has been making a comeback, and ENTRAPMENT from the Netherlands fits snugly in that pigeon hole. The Obscurity Within could have been an early ’90s release for Nuclear Blast, and it seems to retain that type of ethic. Euro/Swedish death with Cronos-style vocals, toss a reverb into the mix and you have this record. This is pretty cool; if this is your thing, you’ll dig it, but if you’re not into this style, this is not really all that exciting. This is pretty good stuff, but you know when it’s a throwback to a certain genre, there’s not much to be surprised by, and by my beak, there’s nothing surprising here. 4 Fucking Pecks

Holy Hell! You got some slam in my death metal; no, you got some death metal in my slam. Russia’s KATALEPSY release the ultra brootal Autopsychosis. This thing is super fun, the vocals are along the lines of Dying Fetus and sometimes go into the pig-grunting style, but if you dig moshing, tighten your laces and dive right the peck in. This has some surprising riffs and, while not entirely a game-changer, this won’t bore the feathers off of you. The production here is pretty clear and even the triggered kick isn’t mixed too high. Get your pinch harmonics and swept arpeggios ready, folks, and give this a shot; by far the best release this week.
6 Fucking Pecks

Well, that’s about it for now. There will definitely be some more next week. The releases will be pecking up a little bit.

Full Album Stream! Porta Nigra’s Fin De Siècle

By: Dan Lake Posted in: featured, listen On: Friday, January 11th, 2013

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Billed as “Decadent Dark Metal” by the excellent taste-havers over at Debemur Morti Productions, Porta Nigra have just graced the world with their debut full-length recording.  Fin De Siècle appeared in Europe a couple months ago and has just made its way to American shores this week.  The title translates to “end of the century,” but its meaning delves much further into themes of decadence and the overall degradation of society associated with European mindsets at the close of the 19th century.  The sound swells with a culturally refined version of black-dark aggression, a little like Rotting Christ in a wine bar or Alcest in an absinthe-fueled fury.  But really, comparisons won’t do justice to the seven solid songs that fill out the record.

Conveniently, you won’t have to rely on anyone’s half-lucid attempt at describing the German band’s engaging 50 minutes of velvet terror.  Here at Decibel, we’re giving you a listen to the whole record.  So stream before you buy.  Then go out and spend like civilization was crumbling over your head, all western currency was drained of every bit of its former worth, and the fascists were already scratching at your door.  Cuz, hey, just about nothing in that last sentence is hypothetical.

One-Half of the New Weekend Nachos 7″

By: kevin.stewart-panko Posted in: featured, gnarly one-offs, listen, uncategorized On: Thursday, January 10th, 2013

deciblog - weekend nachos cover

We love us some Weekend Nachos ’round the hallowed corridors of the Decibel nerve centre and its various satellite offices. So, when WN vocalist John Hoffman emailed us earlier this week asking if we wanted to throw up the A-side of the band’s new 7″, the “DUH!” was positively Richter Scale-worthy. The track originally appeared over at bloody-disgusting.com (which explains all the Bloody Disgusting markers and such) and was originally accompanied by a killer interview conducted by Friend of Decibel, Dom at A389 Records on the topic of Nightmare on Elm Street nerdism. It was far more awesome than any interview subject matter we could have broached, so in the spirit of sharing – these are the folks who brought us Cephalic Carnage’s “Ohrwurm” and Cattle Decapitation’s “Forced Gender Reassignment” videos, after all – we figured the least we could do is link it up for your reading pleasure while spreding Weekend Nachos’ noisy gospel. Check it out here. Rock out below.

www.facebook.com/weekendxnachos
www.a389recordings.bandcamp.com

P.S. “I’m gonna split you in two” and “This, is God!” are still my favourite Freddy one liners.

Decibrity Playlist: Holy Grail

By: zach.smith Posted in: featured, interviews, listen, lists On: Thursday, January 10th, 2013

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If you’ve been keeping up with our last two issues (which also happen to be our year-end and 100th), you’ve probably noticed that there’s a new Holy Grail record coming out this month. While you’ll have to wait until January 22nd to see if your excitement about Ride The Void even comes remotely close to J. Bennett’s, guitarist Eli Santana was kind enough to pass along the gift of leather, albeit in musical form, to hold you over. More specifically, the ten tracks below represent (in no particular order) the Pasadena, CA quintet’s favorite songs “that have to do with or are dedicated purely to the greatness of metal’s most prized wardrobe accessory.” We couldn’t have suggested a better topic if we’d tried. You can listen along here.

Judas Priest’s “Hell Bent For Leather” (from 1979′s Hell Bent For Leather)
Well, I think we would be excommunicated from all metal circles if we didn’t include one of the greatest songs about the glory of leather. Thanks to the Metal God himself, Rob Halford showed the metal community how to look tough just like the patrons of the European gay clubs he hung out in. I actually don’t think Rob Halford is gay, I just think woman aren’t metal enough to satisfy him.

Cody ChesnuTT’s “Look Good In Leather” (from 2002′s The Headphone Masterpiece)
Cody ChestnuTT was one of my favorite new artists back in the mid-2000s. He hit the scene with his R&B/indie album The Headphone Masterpiece. ChestnuTT is probably most recognized for the song he did with The Roots entitled “The Seed”. “Look Good in Leather” immediately came to mind because of the sheer sassiness ChestnuTT displays in this song, stating “I can do anything I want because I look good in leather.” I sadly don’t know about being able to do “anything”, because when I went to see him at the House of Blues in Hollywood, he gave one of the most unprofessional performances I’ve ever seen in my life. Most people left before he was finished. I still love this song though.

Saxon’s “Denim And Leather” (from 1981′s Denim And Leather)
Saxon is definitely one of my favorite NWOBHM bands of all time. I saw them in 2010 and, unlike Cody Chestnutt, Saxon gave an extremely professional and stellar performance. Saxon talks about another important part of metal attire in this song: denim. This song off the album of the same name is such a great description of the scene back then, even giving you the year it takes place. I just wonder how many relationships brought together by denim and leather are still thriving today. I always imagined my Princess of the Night to be draped in denim leather. The groove on this song rules by the way.

Accept’s “London Leatherboys” (from 1983′s Balls To The Wall)
Anyone who is familiar with our band knows our special appreciation of Accept. Udo, Accept’s lead vocalist, took a page out of Halford’s book and described the ruggedness of being entrenched in leather. This is kind of a cautionary tale of the kind of element that wore leather in London in the early ’80s. I’ve caught Accept three times in the past couple of years and they were awesome.

Venom’s “Women, Leather And Hell” (from 1984′s At War With Satan)
The original black metallers themselves talk about the winning combo for any true metalhead, “Women, Leather and Hell”. The thrash/punk vibe is what made me fall in love with early Venom. It doesn’t get better than when Cronos screams, “turn that mother up.”

Metallica’s “Hit The Lights” (from 1983′s Kill ‘Em All)
This song does not have leather cleverly worked into the title, but when songs of leather come to mind, I automatically think of the first line of this song: “No life ’til leather,” originally off the legendary No Life ‘Til Leather demo. Metallica didn’t spend too much time in leather, so I can only imagine their early lyrics were trying to fit in with their NWOBHM heroes.

Judas Priest’s “Leather Rebel” (from 1990′s Painkiller)
Here’s a shocker: Judas Priest has more than one song on this list. This might be one of my favorite Priest songs ever. It’s so thrashy and powerful, it just gets me so fired up. I’m not saying it makes me want to dress in leather with vigor, but it definitely gets the juices flowing.

Urchin’s “Black Leather Fantasy” (from 1977′s “Black Leather Fantasy” single)
This is a song that our singer Luna insisted be on the list and I’m so glad he did. The intro just solidifies the connection between leather and motorcycles because they are scooting all over this song. The killer guitar work is actually very reminiscent of another great NOWBHM band employing the guitar work of both Adrian Smith and Dave Murray. This is for people who may not wear leather but fantasize about it. Probably.

Turbonegro’s “Wipe It ‘Til It Bleeds” (from 2003′s Scandinavian Leather)
We would be morally remiss if we didn’t include at least one Turbonegro song on here. This song is off the album Scandinavian Leather, which leads me to believe that leather is different in Scandinavia. Probably more evil I’m guessing. This is one of the few songs on here that sings about caring for leather and keeping it nice. I’m almost positive there are no innuendoes in there. I do really love the vibe of this song and it’s got a great breakdown in the bridge. It would be a fun song to cover.

Bob Dylan’s “Boots Of Spanish Leather” (from 1964′s The Times They Are A-Changin’)
Last but not least, we have one of America’s greatest songwriters talking about a specific part of the leather ensemble. Dylan takes our leather journey from the frozen north of Turbonegro to singing of leather from Spain. This is a sorrowful song of Bob Dylan at sea singing about the one thing he wants sent to him, his Spanish leather boots. I’m not sure I could handle being stuck in a boat having to listen to Bob Dylan sing about missing his boots. There would definitely be one man overboard. But I’d probably love this song if Scott Kelly from Neurosis were to cover it.

*Pre-order a copy of Ride The Void here.

**We update one Spotify playlist for each new Decibrity entry, so feel free to subscribe to that here. Past entries include:

Rotten Sound
Ancestors (Part 1) (Part 2)
Kowloon Walled City (Part 1) (Part 2)
Aaron Stainthorpe (My Dying Bride) (Part 1) (Part 2)
Early Graves
All That Remains
Bison B.C.
A Life Once Lost
Fight Amp
Witchcraft (Ola Henriksson) (Magnus Pelander)
Vision of Disorder
Grave
Anders Nyström (Katatonia) (Part 1) (Part 2)
“Best of” Rush (Part 1) (Part 2)
Dawnbringer
Ufomammut
Shadows Fall
Horseback
Greg Mackintosh (Paradise Lost) (Part 1) (Part 2)
Torche
“Best of” Meshuggah
Astra
Pallbearer
Barren Earth
Shane Embury (Napalm Death) (Part 1) (Part 2)

STREAMING: Defeated Sanity’s “Naraka”

By: justin.m.norton Posted in: featured, listen On: Wednesday, January 9th, 2013

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And so begins the relentless stream of new metal releases of 2013.

First out of the gate is some tried and true death metal courtesy of Germany’s Defeated Sanity. dB is streaming the second track “Naraka” off upcoming album Passages Into Deformity, due Feb. 5 and available for preorder from Willowtip.

The band describes the album thus: “With Passages Into Deformity, fans can expect another quality release from Defeated Sanity. Without compromising the brutality of our sound, we have stepped it up in terms of the overall production. The album has a more old-school vibe to it, with a lot of early ‘90s inspired riffs and slams, but we made it a point to not get away from the technical and progressive stuff as well. People can definitely expect the most balanced Defeated Sanity album yet.”

Check out the new song below and get in touch with the band here.

STREAMING: Denouncement Pyre “Almighty Arcanum”

By: Chris D. Posted in: featured, listen On: Wednesday, January 9th, 2013

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Few metal bands of the world truly frighten. Whether it’s songs of Satan, ancient fjords, circumcised babies, or dismembered women (far more common than dismembered men, mind you), metal bands have covered it all ad nauseam. And we, as metal acolytes, have become accustomed to that which would normally repulse or scare. But, there are times when bands do project danger, a sense of uncertainty, an unbridled noise that scorches the cockles of our clearly corrupt hearts. Case in point: Denouncement Pyre.

Formed in 2003 out of members of Order of Orias and Nocturnal Graves—who rule worlds, actually—Melbourne’s Denouncement Pyre is nothing like the city they call hole. Far from enotecas, sunny harbors, and tramcar dining, these three Aussies have figured out a way into Hell’s Kitchen via a blasting concoction of death and black metals. When speaking to Witching Metal, Denouncement Pyre had the following to say about their sound: “To the point I would say Black/Death Metal, more specifically with chaotic and violent passages mixed with some mid-paced, dark and at times melody driven parts (in reference to the newer material in particular). I think we have a backbone that relates to old school metal and we don’t hide or deny that. Naturally we create music that we would want to listen to ourselves; however we don’t care to re-invent the wheel or exist to pay homage to any scene or band, nor experiment for the sake of being different. Everything we put into our music is to please ourselves, to serve our own purpose, and to convey the atmosphere and ideology that we wish to convey.”

It’s with great Luciferian pleasure that we, Decibel and Hells Headbangers, have the full Denouncement Pyre album, Almighty Arcanum on display. Due to certain limitations, we had to upload it as one track, but we’re working on remedying the situation shortly. Until then, hit play and descend into the darkest depths of your hump day. It’s truly uninviting.

** Denouncement Pyre’s new album, Almighty Arcanumis, out January 22nd on Hells Headbangers. Order it HERE. Or, find yourself right in the middle of a swirling vortex to the lowest rung of Hell. Wait, that sounds kind of cool, right?

Dave Mustaine or Billy Corgan: Who’s Crazier?

By: Jeff Treppel Posted in: featured, videos On: Tuesday, January 8th, 2013

Dave Billy

The world of hard rock and heavy metal is filled with brilliant artists, and sometimes that thin line between genius and insanity gets erased. Usually in public. In very embarrassing ways. And there have been a lot of notable crazies in the music industry, but right now, Megadeth’s Dave Mustaine and The Smashing Pumpkins’ Billy Corgan seem to be in a heated race to see which washed up rocker can reach the asylum first. Two auteur musicians, both of whom have made some really amazing music (and some really poor artistic decisions), both of them batshit insane in really surprisingly similar ways – but who belongs in a straitjacket more?

ROUND ONE: QUESTIONABLE INVESTMENTS

Both dudes are rich, so they’ve both frittered away their royalties on weird stuff.

Billy Corgan owns a regional wrestling promotion.

Dave Mustaine owns a tiny pony.

WINNER: Dave.

ROUND TWO: RELIGION

Now, I’m not saying that you have to be crazy to be religious. Plenty of totally sane people believe in some sort of deity. No, these guys are notable because of the extremes to which they take their Christian beliefs.

Billy Corgan is way into the crazy hippie stuff. To express his faith, he has recorded an entire album, Zwan’s Mary Star of the Sea, which is basically about Jesus and rock. He also started a website devoted to “Mind-Body-Soul” integration. Also, he’s into psychic mediums.

Dave Mustaine’s not pulling out the Tarot cards, but he refuses to perform at festivals with Satanic bands, won’t play old songs that he deems “too Satanic,” and he doesn’t seem particularly fond of gays, soooo…

WINNER: Billy. Christian fundamentalism doesn’t really surprise me anymore, but new age bullshit is always hilarious.

ROUND THREE: THE MUSIC

They are musicians after all, right? Which means they channel some of their crazy through their art.

Billy Corgan has done some really pretentious things with his music (for example, the current 44 song Teargarden by Kaleidyscope song cycle), but his real mania lies in his massive underground vault of unreleased material. He’s basically a squirrel, but instead of acorns he hordes songs. Even now that they’re rereleasing the Smashing Pumpkins catalog, he’s just putting out a bunch of demos instead of the bushels of unreleased songs he has piled up. Here’s a convenient list of the 250-odd original compositions he’s recorded but never released or even played live.

Dave Mustaine, on the other hand, has released most of his material, but he tends to like to bring in some of his extracurricular activities to his music. For example, did you know that Endgame was based on an Alex Jones film? Also note the 24 fanfiction in the booklet for United Abominations.

WINNER: Billy. It’s never a great sign when you can compare someone’s behavior to Prince’s.

ROUND FOUR: STATEMENTS TO THE PRESS

All rock stars say ill-considered things in interviews. These guys take it to another level.

Billy: “The Pumpkins, as a business, is a creative enterprise that’s constantly generating new waves of energy, through music, through cultural fucking-with… through the Tarot.”

Dave: “There’s so many houses without a dad that it’s just terrible. I mean, you know how they used to say there should be a license to have a baby? Well, as far-fetched as that sounds, I really think that, if the parents aren’t going to stick together, they shouldn’t make that kind of commitment to life. I watch some of these shows from over in Africa, and you’ve got starving women with six kids. Well, how about, you know, put a plug in it? It’s like, you shouldn’t be having children if you can’t feed them.”

WINNER: I mean, come on.

ROUND FIVE: CONSPIRACY THEORIES

THIS is the real meat of the thing. The previous sections could conceivably be written off as the results of decades of drug abuse or just general rock star behavior, but this is where the rubber (room) meets the road.

List of conspiracy theories Billy Corgan believes in: Chemtrails, the New World Order, the TSA as Gestapo, HAARP,  Genetically Modified Foods, “criminal wars,” mind control, all news as propaganda

List of conspiracy theories Dave Mustaine believes in: Chemtrails, the New World Order, birtherism, FEMA camps, global government, basically anything involving Obama taking away our guns/freedom

Billy’s Alex Jones interview (Summary here):

Dave’s Alex Jones interview (Summary here):

Billy’s onstage conspiracy rant:

Dave’s onstage conspiracy rant:

WINNER: Dave. I mean, Billy’s hat in that Alex Jones interview was pretty nuts, but I think “Obama was behind Aurora” pretty much clinches it.

OVERALL WINNER: Dave. Looks like the “Sweating Bullets” video was pretty prophetic, huh.

Enter A Sweet, Sweet Deci-Hell, Courtesy Metalcakes

By: Shawn Macomber Posted in: featured, gnarly one-offs, interviews On: Tuesday, January 8th, 2013

Decihell Metalcakes 100

“The weak pale in the face of both baking and metal!” Metalcakes proprietor Kathy Bejma declares when asked how she first came to realize heavy metal and cupcakes belonged in the same mixing bowl. “Plus ovens are like little mini hells accepting your sacrifice of unborn chickens, butter, and sugar…Occasionally I’ll get the How dare you attempt to reduce the mighty genre of metal to a fucking cupcake comment, but I don’t really care. What are you doing to thank your favorite bands for being awesome? Oh! Illegally downloading their music? Good for you, asshole!”

Skeptics of crossover desserting should consider the following before rushing to un-tasty judgement: Edible Autopsy. Cupcakes of the Tyrants. Below the Cookies and Cremains. Twist of Candy Cane. Baptized in Fire and Frosting. Black Sweets of Vengeance.

That’s right. Bejma’s creations are manifestly more brutal than anything Cupcake Wars ever threw at an audience.

And now the extreme music’s very own Cake Boss has honored Decibel 100 with the extremely extreme Deci-Hell Metalcake, a demonically delectable amalgamation of chocolate, Hell Hath No Fury Stout, black cherry puree filling, Philadelphia Cream Cheese frosting, and a few cherry Pop Rocks on top to — as Bejma put it — “literally add some decibels to the cake.”

The recipe, for those who dare taste the forbidden cake, is written in digital blood after the jump…